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2 Dec
8:18am, 2 Dec 2024
2,359 posts
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Lisrun
Why do the elephants have big ears ?
Because Noddy won’t pay the ransom
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2 Dec
8:22am, 2 Dec 2024
89,621 posts
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Diogenes
The hardest part of growing up with narcolepsy was working out how many sleeps it was until Christmas.
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2 Dec
8:22am, 2 Dec 2024
18,147 posts
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ITG 🇮🇸
Why did the snowman win a prize?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
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2 Dec
8:26am, 2 Dec 2024
51,473 posts
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HappyG(rrr)
A frog walks into a bank and asks to see a personal advisor about a loan. The personal advisor, a Miss Patricia Black, sits him down and asks how much he wants to borrow.
“£15,000″ says the frog
“I see”, says Miss Black, “And do you have any collateral to cover this loan?”
“Yes”, says the frog and hands over a small pink pottery elephant
“Erm, have you anything else, this probably won’t be enough.”, says Miss Black
“I think that will be sufficient,” says the frog.
“Well, I would have to check with the manager but I find it unlikely”, she says.
“Oh I see, well be sure to mention my name when you ask him, it’s Kermit, Kermit Jagger. Does the name mean anything to you?” says the frog
“Not really Mr Jagger, but if you would like to wait here I will be back in a moment.” says Patricia. With that she goes to see the manager.
“I have a frog called Kermit Jagger outside who wants to borrow £15,000 using this as collateral.” she says.
The manager looks at the elephant and says “okay then.”
“But it’s £15,000!” protests Miss Black, “What on earth is that thing if it can be used as collateral for a £15,000 loan?”
The manager sighs, hands back the elephant and says, “It’s a nick-nack Patti Black, give the frog a loan, his old man’s a Rolling Stone.”
Yay, Christmas silliness has begun!  G
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2 Dec
8:27am, 2 Dec 2024
51,474 posts
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Merry Christmas and Happy NewG(rrr)
[ Dark Dio! G ]
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2 Dec
8:28am, 2 Dec 2024
89,623 posts
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Diogenes
I have the memory of an elephant. I remember I went to the zoo once and I saw an elephant.
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2 Dec
8:35am, 2 Dec 2024
9,744 posts
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Pothunter
Who is never hungry at Christmas?
The turkey — he’s always stuffed.
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2 Dec
8:36am, 2 Dec 2024
3,505 posts
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RunningRonnie
What do you get if you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite!
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2 Dec
8:40am, 2 Dec 2024
40,002 posts
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Ocelot Spleens
What do angry rodents send at Christmas?
Cross–mouse cards!
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2 Dec
8:42am, 2 Dec 2024
50,373 posts
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DingDocMerrily
What's yellow and dangerous?
Shark infested custard
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