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Oct 2023
10:34pm, 30 Oct 2023
530 posts
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Mountkeen
A woman walks into a butcher’s shop in Glasgow on a cold day to the welcome sight of an electric heater with both bars on behind the counter.
Perusing the meats, she asks: "Is that your Ayrshire bacon?"
"No," replies the butcher, "it's only my hands I'm warming."
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Oct 2023
8:09am, 31 Oct 2023
156 posts
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Stander
My version is, is that a doughnut or a meringue? No, you were right the first time it’s a doughnut. I am with you ally. Also, no self respecting shop in Glasgow would sell an eclair !
Not without covering it in batter and deep frying it.
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Oct 2023
8:27am, 31 Oct 2023
25,832 posts
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Bazoaxe
A Glaswegian goes to the dentist. They take some time to get settled in the dentists chair.
Comfy? Asks the dentist.
Govan.
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Oct 2023
11:27am, 31 Oct 2023
2,747 posts
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Muttley
A woman walks into a butcher’s shop in Glasgow on a cold day to the welcome sight of an electric heater with both bars on behind the counter. Perusing the meats, she asks: "Is that your Ayrshire bacon?" "No," replies the butcher, "it's only my hands I'm warming."
I still had to explain this one to Muttley Jnr, despite his time at Faslane ... the youth of today, huh.
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Oct 2023
8:39pm, 31 Oct 2023
38,097 posts
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Ocelot Spleens
Fleetwood Mac have quit music and bought a farm together, they used to buy their animal feed but have decided its cheaper to Grow their Own Hay...
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Oct 2023
8:52pm, 31 Oct 2023
61,813 posts
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Derby Tup
That Fleetwood Mac joke is going to be like an albatross round your neck
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Oct 2023
9:00pm, 31 Oct 2023
24,078 posts
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richmac
Their car got stuck in the mud on the farm track, they needed the tractor to get it out, but didn't have a tow rope so they used the chain.
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Oct 2023
9:18pm, 31 Oct 2023
10,142 posts
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Eynsham Red
Their car got stuck in the mud on the farm track, they needed the tractor to get it out, but didn't have a tow rope so they used the chain.
That’s second hand news!
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Oct 2023
10:39pm, 31 Oct 2023
14,555 posts
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57.5 Degrees of Pain
These Fleetwood Mac puns walk a thin line. And some go over my head.
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Oct 2023
10:40pm, 31 Oct 2023
101,574 posts
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swittle
Tusk! Tusk!
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Mundane Joke Thread
Nov 2021