Joke of the day........

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richmac Dec 2022 11:13am, 7 Dec 2022 20,311 posts	0 richmac Forgot to credit JCC for that
Muttley Dec 2022 12:16pm, 7 Dec 2022 2,076 posts	0 Muttley Similarly, playing bridge is like having sex. You need either a willing partner or a strong hand.
DocM Dec 2022 4:23pm, 7 Dec 2022 46,833 posts	0 DocM I thought I could hear Tubular Bells on my farm last Christmas Turned out it was just my cold field..
Jock Itch Dec 2022 10:24am, 8 Dec 2022 13,802 posts	0 Jock Itch The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if I'd like to masturbate in the cup. I said, "Well, I'm pretty good, but I don't think I'm ready to compete just yet."
Stander Dec 2022 10:42am, 8 Dec 2022 53 posts	0 Stander Apparently humans eat more bananas than monkeys. Have you ever seen a human eating a monkey?
Nord SledRunner 🛷 Dec 2022 2:49pm, 8 Dec 2022 2,362 posts	0 Nord SledRunner 🛷 The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if I'd like to masturbate in the cup..." The nurse asked if this was for the long-term deposit account. I said no, at the present rate it had better be the instant saver.
DingDocMerrily Dec 2022 3:36pm, 8 Dec 2022 46,838 posts	0 DingDocMerrily This morning a skeletal hooded figure helped me scrape frost off my car windscreen. It was only later I realised I'd been de-icing with death...
Red Squirrel Dec 2022 6:43pm, 8 Dec 2022 22,572 posts	0 Red Squirrel Plenty gems in there peeps!
Mountkeen Dec 2022 7:47pm, 8 Dec 2022 507 posts	0 Mountkeen I asked this girl at work why she's still dating a scruffy homeless bloke who thinks he's Elvis... She replied, "I'm courting a tramp, I can't walk out!!..”
GordonG Dec 2022 12:41pm, 9 Dec 2022 9,502 posts	0 GordonG Question to all men: if you had to choose between a wonderful wife and a really nice car what would you pick - petrol or diesel?