Transgender exercise - Lets Fetch Everyone

80 watchers
Feb 2023
9:21pm, 4 Feb 2023
11,471 posts
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57.5 Degrees of Pain
Like NDWDave I'm mainly here to learn. Two of my friends' children are transitioning/ transitioned M-F but these issues have never impacted me directly.

I personally find the characterisation of the 'other' thread here a bit harsh, but I can understand that a failure to recognise a trans woman as a woman denies reality and would be offensive to my friends' daughters.
Feb 2023
9:19am, 5 Feb 2023
2,271 posts
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Big_G
I am also here to try and understand a bit more. I have an acquaintance who has transitioned, and I admit I get myself in a muddle with the pronouns, as I knew them as a boy at school.

They were a very good runner, winning local races, and won my club’s Dartmoor Discovery (challenging ultra) and came back to the race after their transition. A marathontalk episode featured the story, with an interview etc, and I feel I learned a lot just from this. Putting a face/name to the issues around the subject and hearing about the issues directly made me think about something that usually has no impact on me. Here is the episode if it is of interest, with the interview starting around 37mins.

marathontalk.libsyn.com

I think locally, runners were talking because they were known as a very good runner, and people were wondering if she may win the DD out right. That didn’t happen, but I wonder if there would have been less talk if they were a regular middle of the pack runner? Anyway, I’ve surfaced on this thread, hopefully I’ve not offended with my choice of words anywhere, and if I have honestly it wasn’t intended, but please point it out if I have.
Feb 2023
2:29pm, 5 Feb 2023
47,172 posts
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DocM
Big_G that link is really helpful and positive. Thank you. My child is interested too. They have barely run since taking first steps as a trans person having immediatly before completed their first marathon.

NDWDave my child wants to work at your work place :)

I first came on to this thread wishing to gain more understanding but without a direct connection, and im grateful to those who have been so welcoming.
Feb 2023
4:10pm, 5 Feb 2023
2,718 posts
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Flatlander
Doc, I'm pleased you are getting some comfort from this thread and it is helping you.
Feb 2023
11:34am, 6 Feb 2023
1,043 posts
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Hibeedeb
This thread has also helped me over time = I have a nephew who is trans. I’ve also been lucky to work with two trans men who were happy to answer questions and talk openly to colleagues about their experiences.
Feb 2023
7:46pm, 6 Feb 2023
1,720 posts
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-Monty-
I think that one of the main problems for acceptance is that people need or would like some form of education to learn to understand why transgender people are transgender. To really understand this, transgender people have to open up quite deeply about their lives which are often very personal and emotional.

Unfortunately, I don’t want my life story made public so I don’t say a lot and would rather remain private I’m afraid. But when I do post a comment or answer a question from someone, because I’m quiet, it tends to be ignored. So I don’t bother much anymore.

I am grateful that there are Fetch allies here though so thank you.
Feb 2023
8:02pm, 6 Feb 2023
1,813 posts
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Vixx
My life is more of an open book though so that if people like Monty (who is awesome) wish to be private then they can be.

I am hoping this link takes you to the start of a few blogs I wrote here to help people understand better:

fetcheveryone.com/blog-share.php?id=396603
Feb 2023
8:22pm, 6 Feb 2023
39,043 posts
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halfpint
I’m not sure as a cis woman whether I could ever truly understand the experience of a trans person. I don’t think that I need to though to accept and respect them. I just need to understand enough to not inadvertently upset them or devalue their experience.
Feb 2023
9:04pm, 6 Feb 2023
298 posts
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gambrinus
I barely post on this website (on the basis that it is better to be thought a fool and remain silent, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt), and also because I've barely run for the last year.

The vocal transphobia/TERFery on here put me off to the extent whereby I would have deleted my profile, if I could find another site that could record my "training" as well as this place does.

The transes are a great bunch of lads, and I don't really understand where all this fear comes from. I think there are some members of this site that would be better off on Mumsnet, where they can whine about trans people existing as much as they like.

Anyway, I'm away back to lurking and the fantasy football thread.
Feb 2023
9:17pm, 6 Feb 2023
10,103 posts
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Raemond
I had to explain the concept of alyship to some of my Dutch rugby team mates last summer - they'd all assumed I was gay until I referred to my other half as 'he'. Apart from the general demeanor and fact I play rugby apparently it was 'all the rainbows' that confused them.

The best explanation I could come up with was an ally 'isn't gay, but they're not going to tolerate homophobia' (or transphobia, as the case may be).

That's what I aim for at least, to not let transphobia pass by me uncontested, because I have luxury of not being directly hurt by it and therefore a bit more energy available to do so.

I probably don't get it prefectly right, all the time.

About This Thread

Maintained by
A thread about how we can encourage and include people in whatever exercise they are interested in and removing barriers to participation.

Glossary
--------------------
Amendments/Corrections/Requests just ask for a sidebar edit.
This is NOT comprehensive, just some helpful shorthand.
---------------------

Gender Identity ≠ Gender Expression ≠ Anatomical Sex ≠ Sexual Orientation

Anatomical sex = The physical aspects that make you fit into a category based on genitals, chromosomes etc i.e. Intersex, Female, Male...
Gender identity = The internal view of gender, the way you see yourself.
Gender expression = The way you present to others externally through clothing, behaviours, language and other social signals.

Sexual orientation = Who you are attracted to.

None of the above are dependent on any of the others, individuals may relate one to another in their specific case, but assuming what one might be based on observation of another is not a sound basis for determination.

Transgender (Trans) = When your gender identity does not match your identity assigned at birth based on anatomical sex.
Cisgender (Cis) = When your gender identity matches your identity assigned at birth based on anatomical sex.
Non Binary (Enby) = When your gender identity doesn't fall into either of the female/male choice. It may exist somewhere on the spectrum between woman and man, either stable of fluctuating between woman-ness and man-ness. This may encapsulate those that may use terms such as genderfluid, agender, demigender et al.

Pronouns = she/her, him/his, them/they etc...
How to refer best to someone else. Really simply, follow their lead. Ask if unsure, be polite. If corrected, it's not a problem unless you repeatedly ignore correction.

Transition = The process somebody goes through to alter their physical attributes to better match their gender identity and expression.

Dysphoria = The distress a person feels due to a mismatch between their gender identity and their sex assigned at birth. Can fluctuate and be experienced at varying degrees.
Dysmorphia = Discomfort with the shape/form of the body. Present in eating disorders and the like, but can often effect transgender people, with triggers such as body hair presence/absence, chest/genital presentation etc.
Deadname - The name a person is assigned at birth, that they no longer use.

Triggers = Things that are known to cause an effect. Typically, X causes a person to experience dysphoria/dysmorphia. Sometimes these can be managed/avoided, other times they are inevitable.

Acronyms:
amab = assigned male at birth (originally born anatomically male)

afab = assigned female at birth (originally born anatomically female)

ftm = female to male transitioner
mtf = male to female transitioner
egg = state of somebody before becoming aware they were transgender i.e. "their egg cracked when they realised and began to emerge"
GIC/GIS = Gender Identity Clinic/Service, providing transition services
GRS = Gender Reassignment Surgery

General notes:
* Not everyone will be comfortable talking about their situation, depending on where they are.
* Not everyone has the language to articulate how they feel, what they want to say. Be patient.
* These things are NOT static, what you encounter in a person today may evolve into something else later.
* Am I trans/cis/enby etc... Frankly, you tell us. Whatever YOU are comfortable with at the time is what we will adopt. It is YOUR identity.
* This language is weird. Yup, and we (CreatureOfTheHill) as a plural system talk strange too, it's OK. We (CreatureOfTheHill) are not "normal", never have been.
* Am I weird/abnormal? Possibly, but it has NOTHING to do with being here or being trans/enby or whatever. People just are in general, and that is OK, we love you for your quirkiness.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFL5GTKwonQ


Resources:
Genderbread Person genderbread.org

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