Transgender exercise - Lets Fetch Everyone

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Feb 2023
5:54pm, 4 Feb 2023
17,883 posts
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NDWDave
My goal of being on this thread is to improve by understanding, and to be supportive of folks.

I’ve been in a pride group at work which mainly has folks from the LGB bit (plus allied like me) but also covers the T+ bit. We added a gender inclusive toilet at work which might make a big difference to some but almost none to most. Gender reassignment surgery was also provided by the company if not covered by the state or private medical and the colleague had been employed for a year (that has a bigger potential cost implication but it is a massive company).

I’ve try to use gender neutral language (inclusive?) at work (it was a French company so default was “he” e.g. the standard promotion form was “please explain why he deserves a promotion” : / … then it changed to “he or she”). I try to use they/person etc)

I’m neither trans or female (as per fetch) so I don’t really understand the debate but I try to make small changes which make f*ck all difference to me but might make a huge difference to others

Anyhow… as you were
Feb 2023
5:59pm, 4 Feb 2023
10,088 posts
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Raemond
Actually I have read a few pages of this thread and not seen any opposition to anyone receiving support to be who ever they want to be. Prehaps you could post a link


Happy to be corrected if I've got the wrong end of the stick, but I in understood Fetch's intervention to mean that there have been complaints about the activity within this thread, which seemed unlikely to have come from participants here so I concluded are most likely to have come from folkx who are vocal in the other one and, I guess, lurking in here to keep tabs on us.
Feb 2023
6:04pm, 4 Feb 2023
47,164 posts
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DocM
Thank you NDW. I know attitudes like yours make a big difference to people.
Feb 2023
6:25pm, 4 Feb 2023
8,826 posts
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KatieB
To clarify, there have been complaints about multiple people with different viewpoints. I have posted it on both threads to give everyone the opportunity to read it.


Complaints from both sides. Ian’s post on both threads.
Feb 2023
6:38pm, 4 Feb 2023
1,812 posts
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Vixx
Whilst I'm in this mood I will stay away I think. I don't need the hassle and I'm worried that I might say something I wouldn't normally. I certainly do not need people complaining about an opinion that I might (or already have) air/aired.

Thank you for the support on Mom, I do appreciate it.
Feb 2023
7:20pm, 4 Feb 2023
8,827 posts
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KatieB
Take care, Vixx

X
Feb 2023
7:47pm, 4 Feb 2023
6,533 posts
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ThorntonRunner
Yep - take care, and come back when you're ready. There's plenty of people on here who support you and care about you and yours.
Feb 2023
8:27pm, 4 Feb 2023
80 posts
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craig6p
I can't get into a debate about everything without it consuming far too much time, losing even more sleep etc.

Also, people aren't just persuaded by well reasoned arguments. How people relate to you matters first, before people decide how to relate to what you say.

But I think it's really valuable for there to be visible support for trans people, including opposition to views that belittle them or issues they're faced with.
Feb 2023
9:00pm, 4 Feb 2023
4,554 posts
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StuH
Thanks NDWDave, it really does make a difference.

Thoughts with you and your family Vixx, take care.

And thank you Ian
Feb 2023
9:10pm, 4 Feb 2023
1,718 posts
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-Monty-
Good grief…..🙄 🤦🏽‍♀️
Just caught up with everything from today, on both of the threads.
Been a Fetchie since 2008 and sometimes feel that I just can’t be bothered being a member anymore 😔

About This Thread

Maintained by
A thread about how we can encourage and include people in whatever exercise they are interested in and removing barriers to participation.

Glossary
--------------------
Amendments/Corrections/Requests just ask for a sidebar edit.
This is NOT comprehensive, just some helpful shorthand.
---------------------

Gender Identity ≠ Gender Expression ≠ Anatomical Sex ≠ Sexual Orientation

Anatomical sex = The physical aspects that make you fit into a category based on genitals, chromosomes etc i.e. Intersex, Female, Male...
Gender identity = The internal view of gender, the way you see yourself.
Gender expression = The way you present to others externally through clothing, behaviours, language and other social signals.

Sexual orientation = Who you are attracted to.

None of the above are dependent on any of the others, individuals may relate one to another in their specific case, but assuming what one might be based on observation of another is not a sound basis for determination.

Transgender (Trans) = When your gender identity does not match your identity assigned at birth based on anatomical sex.
Cisgender (Cis) = When your gender identity matches your identity assigned at birth based on anatomical sex.
Non Binary (Enby) = When your gender identity doesn't fall into either of the female/male choice. It may exist somewhere on the spectrum between woman and man, either stable of fluctuating between woman-ness and man-ness. This may encapsulate those that may use terms such as genderfluid, agender, demigender et al.

Pronouns = she/her, him/his, them/they etc...
How to refer best to someone else. Really simply, follow their lead. Ask if unsure, be polite. If corrected, it's not a problem unless you repeatedly ignore correction.

Transition = The process somebody goes through to alter their physical attributes to better match their gender identity and expression.

Dysphoria = The distress a person feels due to a mismatch between their gender identity and their sex assigned at birth. Can fluctuate and be experienced at varying degrees.
Dysmorphia = Discomfort with the shape/form of the body. Present in eating disorders and the like, but can often effect transgender people, with triggers such as body hair presence/absence, chest/genital presentation etc.
Deadname - The name a person is assigned at birth, that they no longer use.

Triggers = Things that are known to cause an effect. Typically, X causes a person to experience dysphoria/dysmorphia. Sometimes these can be managed/avoided, other times they are inevitable.

Acronyms:
amab = assigned male at birth (originally born anatomically male)

afab = assigned female at birth (originally born anatomically female)

ftm = female to male transitioner
mtf = male to female transitioner
egg = state of somebody before becoming aware they were transgender i.e. "their egg cracked when they realised and began to emerge"
GIC/GIS = Gender Identity Clinic/Service, providing transition services
GRS = Gender Reassignment Surgery

General notes:
* Not everyone will be comfortable talking about their situation, depending on where they are.
* Not everyone has the language to articulate how they feel, what they want to say. Be patient.
* These things are NOT static, what you encounter in a person today may evolve into something else later.
* Am I trans/cis/enby etc... Frankly, you tell us. Whatever YOU are comfortable with at the time is what we will adopt. It is YOUR identity.
* This language is weird. Yup, and we (CreatureOfTheHill) as a plural system talk strange too, it's OK. We (CreatureOfTheHill) are not "normal", never have been.
* Am I weird/abnormal? Possibly, but it has NOTHING to do with being here or being trans/enby or whatever. People just are in general, and that is OK, we love you for your quirkiness.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFL5GTKwonQ


Resources:
Genderbread Person genderbread.org

Related Threads

  • gender
  • inclusion
  • kindness
  • support









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