Huge hugs for you and your family Vixx. Head scritches for Gizmo, if he's not a hugger.
Please never feel bad about being absent from here to deal with your real life stuff - we love you and miss you, and we'll be here whenever you have the spoons to drop by đź«‚đź«‚
I'm a tag teamer, I've removed the tag transgender from the thread, there were only 3 threads with that tag, so it would always come up. I don't think there's any other way around it. It is no longer showing in the related threads.
Yay, thanks Pinks They can tag it gender critical or TERFs welcome or whatever they want, and hopefully nobody stumbles in there looking for support just to find hate.
I added discussion to the other thread, so it shows as a discussion one. I might talk to fetch about getting rid of the trams tag altogether. There are only 2 threads with it.
I was watching the other thread from years back, and didn’t know this one existed. I’m so glad it does…
This is a proper Fetch thread, being open and supportive to other Fetchies. It makes me happy.
Non running story: my employer moved to a new building recently that’s still being refurbished in some areas. The other week, I went through a new door marked “toilets” and found a larger space with six cubicles, each containing a toilet, sink and hand dryer. Two had female symbols on the door, two had male and two had both. So bloody simple….
There's so much evidence that individual cubicles in overall mixed spaces are the safest for everyone - be that toilets or changing, or whatever. It doesn't even really take up more space than the old fashioned open plan spaces divided by gender.
As a weird, albeit straight and cis, girl, some of the worst bullying I experienced at school was in open plan 'female only' changing rooms, and these days I'm not really comfortable being exposed to the prurient interest of transphobes obsessed with policing other people's genitals - again, that's as a straight, cis, OK increasingly butch looking but still very rarely misgendered, woman. Can we banish them to assholes only facilities, maybe?
I work in a secondary school and we're moving to open plan mixed gender toilets, or, if you will , "toilets" there are two rows of cubicles with floor to ceiling doors, open plan sinks and I don't see why this can't work everywhere. Its going to be rolled out across the whole school (ÂŁ dependent no doubt) and makes everyone feel safer - people just want to have a pee ffs
The other thread diverged massively from the original intention when I started it. I ended up taking it off my watch list and asking Fetch to take over maintenance so I didn't need to look at it. In my mind the original aim of the other thread was to allow people to gain an understanding of the other "side"'s (for want of better word) point of view. I think that's what's missing from so much of the discussion of trans rights, any sense of empathy with those who feel threatened by your proposals - to a greater or lesser extent on both sides of the divide (the "decapitate terfs" banner was deplorable but also utterly stupid and counterproductive - not the way to win hearts and minds). And of course the aggressive nature of the "discussion" means that moderate voices are less likely to engage. Reading Vixx's blog where he said his wife was questioning whether they should stay in the UK was heartbreaking.
A thread about how we can encourage and include people in whatever exercise they are interested in and removing barriers to participation.
Glossary -------------------- Amendments/Corrections/Requests just ask for a sidebar edit. This is NOT comprehensive, just some helpful shorthand. ---------------------
Gender Identity ≠Gender Expression ≠Anatomical Sex ≠Sexual Orientation
Anatomical sex = The physical aspects that make you fit into a category based on genitals, chromosomes etc i.e. Intersex, Female, Male... Gender identity = The internal view of gender, the way you see yourself. Gender expression = The way you present to others externally through clothing, behaviours, language and other social signals.
Sexual orientation = Who you are attracted to.
None of the above are dependent on any of the others, individuals may relate one to another in their specific case, but assuming what one might be based on observation of another is not a sound basis for determination.
Transgender (Trans) = When your gender identity does not match your identity assigned at birth based on anatomical sex. Cisgender (Cis) = When your gender identity matches your identity assigned at birth based on anatomical sex. Non Binary (Enby) = When your gender identity doesn't fall into either of the female/male choice. It may exist somewhere on the spectrum between woman and man, either stable of fluctuating between woman-ness and man-ness. This may encapsulate those that may use terms such as genderfluid, agender, demigender et al.
Pronouns = she/her, him/his, them/they etc... How to refer best to someone else. Really simply, follow their lead. Ask if unsure, be polite. If corrected, it's not a problem unless you repeatedly ignore correction.
Transition = The process somebody goes through to alter their physical attributes to better match their gender identity and expression.
Dysphoria = The distress a person feels due to a mismatch between their gender identity and their sex assigned at birth. Can fluctuate and be experienced at varying degrees. Dysmorphia = Discomfort with the shape/form of the body. Present in eating disorders and the like, but can often effect transgender people, with triggers such as body hair presence/absence, chest/genital presentation etc. Deadname - The name a person is assigned at birth, that they no longer use.
Triggers = Things that are known to cause an effect. Typically, X causes a person to experience dysphoria/dysmorphia. Sometimes these can be managed/avoided, other times they are inevitable.
Acronyms: amab = assigned male at birth (originally born anatomically male)
afab = assigned female at birth (originally born anatomically female)
ftm = female to male transitioner mtf = male to female transitioner egg = state of somebody before becoming aware they were transgender i.e. "their egg cracked when they realised and began to emerge" GIC/GIS = Gender Identity Clinic/Service, providing transition services GRS = Gender Reassignment Surgery
General notes: * Not everyone will be comfortable talking about their situation, depending on where they are. * Not everyone has the language to articulate how they feel, what they want to say. Be patient. * These things are NOT static, what you encounter in a person today may evolve into something else later. * Am I trans/cis/enby etc... Frankly, you tell us. Whatever YOU are comfortable with at the time is what we will adopt. It is YOUR identity. * This language is weird. Yup, and we (CreatureOfTheHill) as a plural system talk strange too, it's OK. We (CreatureOfTheHill) are not "normal", never have been. * Am I weird/abnormal? Possibly, but it has NOTHING to do with being here or being trans/enby or whatever. People just are in general, and that is OK, we love you for your quirkiness.
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Gender identity, please help change
Jun 2021
