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Joke of the day........

1 lurker | 506 watchers
Mar 2023
9:42pm, 12 Mar 2023
13,857 posts
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Jock Itch
When my Dad was unemployed he used to hide money in the bushes in our garden...

He went on to become a successful hedge fund manager.
Mar 2023
7:36am, 13 Mar 2023
30,465 posts
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Maclennane
Do you know why birds sing in the morning?
Because they don't have to go to work
Mar 2023
2:07pm, 13 Mar 2023
19,547 posts
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Sigh
Who is the patron saint of email?
St Francis of a cc
3M
Mar 2023
2:11pm, 13 Mar 2023
20,772 posts
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3M
Who is the patron saint of email? St Francis of a cc


Very good, Sigh. I will see if I can get that into a conversation, somewhere, at work this week!
Mar 2023
8:45am, 14 Mar 2023
9,652 posts
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GordonG
Those BBC negotiations in full:

“Delete the tweets”
“No”
“Okay, well, apologise for them”
“No”
“We’ll get somebody else in to do your job if you don’t”

*Everyone downs tools*

“Will you at least promise not to tweet political stuff in the future?”
“No”
“Okay, we have a deal”
Mar 2023
12:07pm, 14 Mar 2023
2,310 posts
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Muttley
^ As a former BBC lifer I can confirm this ^

There's a saying at the Beeb when a huge cockup happens: deputy heads will roll.
Mar 2023
6:33am, 15 Mar 2023
177 posts
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Treborstreet
I’ve been laughing at mountains, they’re hill areas.

I’ll get my coat.
Mar 2023
4:42pm, 16 Mar 2023
523 posts
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Mountkeen
Breaking news!!

New recognised dog cross-breeds announced by Kennel Club (allegedly)

Collie+Lhasa Apso: Collapso - a dog that folds up for easy transport

Pointer+Setter: Poinsetter - the traditional Christmas pet

Pekingese+Lhasa Apso: Peekasso - an abstract dog

Irish Water Spaniel+English Springer Spaniel: Irish Springer - a dog as fresh and clean as mountain air

Terrier+Bulldog: Terribull - not a good dog

Bloodhound+Labrador: Blabador - a dog that barks incessantly

Malamute+Pointer: Moot Point - owned by....oh well, it doesn't matter anyway

Collie+Malamute: Commute - a dog that travels to work

Deerhound+Terrier: Derriere -a dog that's true to the end

Bull Terrier+Shitzu: You can figure that one out
Mar 2023
5:53pm, 16 Mar 2023
2,202 posts
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Brunski
Man is walking behind his wife and says "Your arse is getting so big it looks like an old washing machine."

The woman keeps quiet.

Bedtime comes and he starts getting amorous.

Wife says "I'm not starting the old washing machine for such a small load. You'll have to do it by hand!"
Mar 2023
7:22pm, 19 Mar 2023
13,864 posts
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Jock Itch
I'm writing a book about hurricanes and tornadoes.

It's only a draft at the moment.

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