Joke of the day........

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Jock Itch Jan 2023 10:47am, 28 Jan 2023 13,828 posts	0 Jock Itch People are often surprised when they see the intricate tattoo that I got done in Madrid… Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision!
Muttley Jan 2023 12:49pm, 28 Jan 2023 2,209 posts	0 Muttley Get out. Now.
JCB Jan 2023 1:18pm, 28 Jan 2023 3,972 posts	0 JCB I told my dad he should embrace his mistakes. He had tears in his eyes. Then he hugged my sister and me.
Stander Jan 2023 8:20am, 30 Jan 2023 74 posts	0 Stander I went on Dragon's Den last week and showed them my dad's old shotgun. Peter Jones said, "And what's your idea?" I replied, "It's a simple concept Peter, just put all the money in the fucking bag!"
DocM Jan 2023 4:31pm, 30 Jan 2023 47,123 posts	0 DocM I've never really fancied trying the bobsleigh but I'd probably have a go if pushed...
Sigh Jan 2023 9:19am, 31 Jan 2023 18,996 posts	0 Sigh The CEO of IKEA has just been appointed as the Prime Minister of Sweden. He's currently assembling his cabinet. Allan Key is expected to feature in a joint role.
Steve NordRunner Jan 2023 1:21pm, 31 Jan 2023 2,628 posts	0 Steve NordRunner The UK government has a new policy that everyone should be within 15 mins of a green space or water. So global warming will be allowed to continue and everyone will be within range of a flooded river or coastline.
jda Jan 2023 1:25pm, 31 Jan 2023 14,199 posts	0 jda I’m struggling to think of anywhere I’ve ever been, uk or abroad, that isn’t already within 15 mins of such a space. Ideas, anyone? Seems about as meaningful as their promise to halve inflation, which Tim Harford ridiculed recently on More or Less.
jda Jan 2023 1:27pm, 31 Jan 2023 14,200 posts	0 jda Oh sorry I assumed from previous post I was on the politics thread
Derby Tup Jan 2023 2:29pm, 31 Jan 2023 58,218 posts	0 Derby Tup Must admit I thought the same but then I’ve never lived in a large city