Joke of the day........

1 lurker | 506 watchers
Feb 2023
8:38pm, 3 Feb 2023
83 posts
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dUNKle
What do you call a bullet-proof Scouser?

Kev la.
Feb 2023
10:05pm, 5 Feb 2023
13,831 posts
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Jock Itch
I asked a girl for a date and she said I had a face like the back of a boat.

I didn't reply but I gave her a stern look.
Feb 2023
8:36am, 6 Feb 2023
77 posts
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Stander
When I was born my fairy godmother told me I could have either a long memory or a long willy.

I can't remember what I asked for.
3M
Feb 2023
9:44am, 6 Feb 2023
20,392 posts
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3M
Stolen from a work forum on AI. (I think they'd already stolen it from elsewhere....!)
Feb 2023
2:49pm, 6 Feb 2023
3,768 posts
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Mr. K.
BREAKING: Jurgen Klopp has been stopped by police for speeding round Anfield.

When questioned why he was speeding he replied:

“I’ll do anything for 3 points at the moment”
Feb 2023
2:54pm, 7 Feb 2023
5,306 posts
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Groundhog
[I'm doing questions for a pub quiz and needed to use an anagram app so searched on Google for anagram and it said "did you mean "nag a ram?" ]
3M
Feb 2023
10:16pm, 7 Feb 2023
20,420 posts
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3M
Why don't bling people skydive?

Because it scares their dogs.
Feb 2023
10:55pm, 7 Feb 2023
2,231 posts
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Muttley
That's a variation on a Barry Cryer joke: Did you hear about the blind skydiver? He pulls the cord when the dog's lead goes slack.

As an aside, I have a nephew who is blind, and has a guide dog. He and I did actually go skydiving once. Angel the dog stayed on the ground though.
Feb 2023
1:00am, 8 Feb 2023
20 posts
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Happy
What do you call a bear with no paw?

Rupert the bastard
Feb 2023
7:59am, 8 Feb 2023
11,519 posts
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57.5 Degrees of Pain
I’ve been sacked from my job as a theatre designer….

I left without making a scene.

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