Joke of the day........

502 watchers

Diogenes Jul 2021 11:46am, 23 Jul 2021 61,573 posts	0 Diogenes [Re pothunter’s last post, my answer to that question is “the baby Jesus”]
Mountkeen Jul 2021 11:54am, 23 Jul 2021 471 posts	0 Mountkeen I just read a list of "The 100 Things To Do Before You Die". I was pretty surprised that "Shout for help" wasn't one of them.
Silent Runner Jul 2021 3:48pm, 23 Jul 2021 470 posts	0 Silent Runner If a fishmonger calls you up offering to sell you mathematical constants, just put the phone down. It's scampi.
Silent Runner Jul 2021 3:49pm, 23 Jul 2021 471 posts	0 Silent Runner Whenever I see a price in dollars, I multiply by one hundred. It makes cents if you think about it.
FergusG Jul 2021 4:46pm, 23 Jul 2021 4,530 posts	0 FergusG
dUNKle Jul 2021 7:49am, 24 Jul 2021 62 posts	0 dUNKle Deciding to take advantage of the fine summer day a penguin decides to go for a drive in his new soft top sports car. He's not been driving long when the car overheats and starts to make funny noises. He manages to get to the local garage and explains the problem to the mechanic. "I'll have a look but it will be about half an hour" says the mechanic. "Thats OK" says the penguin "I'll have a walk in the park" and off he goes. He wanders through the park, has a chat with the local ducks, catches a few rays and has an Ice Cream. On returning to the garage the mechanic looks up from under the bonnet. "You've blown a seal" he says "No" says the penguin, wiping his cheek. "I've just had an Ice Cream.
Mountkeen Jul 2021 11:33am, 24 Jul 2021 472 posts	0 Mountkeen I've been watching the womens' beach volleyball at the Olympics 10 minutes into the game and there was a wrist injury Hopefully I'll be ok for tomorrow's matches
Muttley Jul 2021 7:04pm, 24 Jul 2021 1,180 posts	0 Muttley Ha! That's a variation on one of my favourites. Women's beach volleyball -- it requires tremendous hand-eye coordination, and that's just to watch it.
Shortcut Cam Jul 2021 11:23pm, 25 Jul 2021 1,582 posts	0 Shortcut Cam What do you call a man who has finished digging a hole? Doug
Shortcut Cam Jul 2021 11:24pm, 25 Jul 2021 1,583 posts	0 Shortcut Cam Waitres asks how did i find my steak and I said it was next to my potatoes