Joke of the day........

23 lurkers | 501 watchers
5 Jan
10:58am, 5 Jan 2024
63,417 posts
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Derby Tup
:-O
5 Jan
12:00pm, 5 Jan 2024
25,325 posts
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richmac
As an amputee I approve
5 Jan
12:03pm, 5 Jan 2024
2,892 posts
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Muttley
He was always going to be convicted. His lawyer said he didn't have a leg to stand on.
7 Jan
6:49pm, 7 Jan 2024
31,801 posts
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Maclennane
Not all construction tasks are equally interesting

For instance, enlarging a drilled hole is boring, but fastening pieces of metal together is riveting
3M
7 Jan
7:56pm, 7 Jan 2024
23,007 posts
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3M
The section heading from an old copy of the Yellow Pages:
"Boring: see Civil Engineers"
7 Jan
10:20pm, 7 Jan 2024
31,802 posts
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Maclennane
The sky was looking ominous so I asked Siri, “Surely, it’s not going to rain today?”

And she replied, “Yes it is, and don’t call me Shirley.”

That was when I realized I’d left my phone on Airplane mode.
8 Jan
11:03am, 8 Jan 2024
2,987 posts
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Mushroom
If you can't tell how powerful a French car is whilst locked in the trunk, then I'm afraid you simply don't know voiture torque in a boot...
8 Jan
4:35pm, 8 Jan 2024
536 posts
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Mountkeen
Rearrange these letters to form words:

1. PIENS
2. BUTTSXE

Did you get "SPINE" and "SUBTEXT"?

Yeah....neither did I
9 Jan
11:05pm, 9 Jan 2024
83,834 posts
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Diogenes
What's the sleaziest way of fitting four multiple choice options into one?

A) Be Seedy
10 Jan
2:53pm, 10 Jan 2024
2,990 posts
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Mushroom
My mate has just phoned me, in floods of tears.

His wife has left him, taken his Bob Marley LP collection, and the satellite dish.

Poor bugger. No woman, no sky..

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