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Dec 2023
9:13pm, 24 Dec 2023
41,765 posts
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Nellers
I think yew might regret that threat.
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Dec 2023
9:35pm, 24 Dec 2023
10,803 posts
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Festive Flier
Oakay, can we branch out into some new jokes and leaf these behind.
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Dec 2023
10:33pm, 24 Dec 2023
10,093 posts
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Surrey Phil
We need to spruce up this thread.
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Dec 2023
6:22am, 25 Dec 2023
24,282 posts
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Sigh
A guy is sitting in the bar in departures at a busy airport. A woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him. He decides because she's got a uniform on, she's probably an off-duty flight attendant.
So he decides to have a go at picking her up by trying to identify the airline she flies for.
He leans across to her and says the Delta Airlines motto 'We love to fly and it shows'. The woman looks at him blankly.
He sits back andthinks up another line.
He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto 'Winning the hearts of the world'. Again she just stares at him with a puzzled look on her face.
Undeterred, he tries again, this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto 'Going beyond expectations'.
Could it be British Airways then? he wonders and tries "The World's favourite airline".
The woman looks at him sternly and says 'What the f**k do you want?'
'Ah!' he says, sitting back with a smile on his face.
'Ryanair'.
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Dec 2023
7:35am, 25 Dec 2023
63,097 posts
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Derby Tup
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Dec 2023
10:31am, 25 Dec 2023
16,137 posts
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jda
Had a terrible nightmare last night, dreamt I was stuck in a snow globe.
I'm ok now, just a little shaken up.
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Dec 2023
6:07pm, 25 Dec 2023
3,169 posts
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Big_G
Say what you like about Die Hard, but it has to be the best Christmas movie.
Hans down.
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Dec 2023
8:26pm, 29 Dec 2023
41,826 posts
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Nellers
Minimalism is just a scam by big small to con us into buying more less.
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Dec 2023
6:25am, 30 Dec 2023
24,358 posts
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Sigh
A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.
'I don't want to know,' the child said, bursting into tears. 'Promise me you won't tell me.'
Confused, the father asked what was wrong.
The boy sobbed, 'When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech.
At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech.
When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech.
If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really shag, I'll have nothing left to live for.'
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Dec 2023
5:29pm, 30 Dec 2023
3,180 posts
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Big_G
What’s the difference between a really, really strong weightlifter and a really, really, really, really strong weightlifter?
Repetitions.
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