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Dec 2022
8:47am, 14 Dec 2022
5,557 posts
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K5 Gus
Got a text today. All it said was " A.N.G.B."
I thought, that's bang out of order.
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Dec 2022
8:48am, 14 Dec 2022
10,543 posts
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57.5 Days of Xmas
Ah yes. The annual day when lots of visitors try to raise the usual low standard of the jokes here and mostly fail.
Where's Daz when we need him?
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Dec 2022
8:48am, 14 Dec 2022
9,315 posts
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Eynsham the Red Knows Rain Dear
What do you call a magic dog? A labracadrabrador.
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Dec 2022
8:48am, 14 Dec 2022
1,665 posts
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AndyS
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar.
The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Dec 2022
8:48am, 14 Dec 2022
5,558 posts
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K5 Gus
A man in a hot air balloon, realising he was lost, reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended further and shouted to the lady,
"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41
degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be in IT," said the balloonist. "Actually I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "Everything you have told me is technically correct but I've no idea what to make of your information
and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip."
The woman below responded, "You must be in Management." "I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the woman, "You don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot
air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are
in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my * ** * * * * fault..."
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Dec 2022
8:50am, 14 Dec 2022
1,666 posts
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AndyS
Why don't polar bears eat penguins?
Because they can't get the wrappers off.
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Dec 2022
8:51am, 14 Dec 2022
6,794 posts
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um
And one from Mock the Week, Milton Jones :
Without rap music, we wouldn't have pass the parcel music
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Dec 2022
8:52am, 14 Dec 2022
9,317 posts
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Eynsham the Red Knows Rain Dear
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
This must have happened after Saturday’s World Cup Semi Final defeat.
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Dec 2022
8:55am, 14 Dec 2022
9,318 posts
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Eynsham the Red Knows Rain Dear
What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?
Remorse code.
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Dec 2022
8:59am, 14 Dec 2022
10,544 posts
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57.5 Days of Xmas
How do you persuade unwilling kids to decorate a snowman?
I use a carrot and stick approach.
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Mundane Joke Thread
Nov 2021
