Joke of the day........

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Maclennane Apr 2022 11:48am, 8 Apr 2022 28,413 posts	0 Maclennane Just got my results back from my honey making exams I got 2 Bs
57.5 Degrees of Pain Apr 2022 2:11pm, 8 Apr 2022 8,716 posts	0 57.5 Degrees of Pain I just got 3 tips off a bookie for the Grand National. Sunshine. Moonlight. Good Times If they don't win, don't blame it on Sunshine, don't blame it on Moonlight, don't blame it on Good Times, blame it on the Bookie.
Bazoaxe Apr 2022 7:17pm, 8 Apr 2022 22,441 posts	0 Bazoaxe I was told of a horse that was 12-1 and when I put money on it, it changed to 1-2 LUNCHTIME
Bazoaxe Apr 2022 7:19pm, 8 Apr 2022 22,442 posts	0 Bazoaxe Then ther was the horse that has never been beaten DUSTY CARPET
GordonG Apr 2022 7:44pm, 8 Apr 2022 9,055 posts	0 GordonG my boss drove in to work today in a brand new Ferrari. I said "wow that's an amazing car". He replied "and if you work hard, put lots of hours in and ensure everything is to a very high standard, this time next year I'll be able to afford another one".
Muttley Apr 2022 5:16pm, 11 Apr 2022 1,485 posts	0 Muttley This is a story to inspire you to reach for your dreams and never, ever give up ... Many years ago my mate's wife came a close second in the Miss Cromer 1997 competition. Later that year she was beset by a long period of bad luck. She'd suffered years of drug and alcohol abuse and a series of eating disorders. She lost a leg and needed facial reconstruction surgery following a road traffic accident. Later, she suffered 90% burns in an unprovoked acid attack. Several of her teeth were knocked out and an eye gouged in a fight outside a KFC. The stress caused severe hair loss and facial warts. But she never stopped believing. And finally, last month, she was crowned Miss Great Yarmouth 2022.
Jock Itch Apr 2022 7:54pm, 11 Apr 2022 13,643 posts	0 Jock Itch Waiter: How do you like your steak, sir? Sir: Like winning an argument with my wife. Waiter: Rare it is.
daz1927 Apr 2022 9:09pm, 12 Apr 2022 6,043 posts	0 daz1927 What do you call a nurse with dirty knees? Head Nurse.
daz1927 Apr 2022 9:12pm, 12 Apr 2022 6,044 posts	0 daz1927 I had a massive row with my wife and threatened to shoot myself. She came back a while later and said, "I see you're still alive." "It's harder than you think," I replied as I put my bow and arrows away.
Jason1969 Apr 2022 12:27pm, 15 Apr 2022 12,919 posts	0 Jason1969 My therapist told me I need to respect people's boundaries. Well, what she actually said was "Get out, I'm having a sh*t!"