Joke of the day........

1 lurker | 501 watchers

Sigh Jun 2020 8:29pm, 5 Jun 2020 6,539 posts	0 Sigh Remember folks, you can't sleep with your partner if you live in separate houses. But you can drive 260 miles to a dogging site and meet six strangers.
Dvorak Jun 2020 9:46pm, 5 Jun 2020 19,885 posts	0 Dvorak (Is that the latest Cummings revelation?) I suppose in socially-distanced dogging you'd have to touch it with a bargepole.
Jason1969 Jun 2020 10:27pm, 5 Jun 2020 12,790 posts	0 Jason1969 Apparently, maintaining social distance by telling people to fuck off isn’t government policy. Apologies to everyone in the supermarket this afternoon.
Eynsham Red Jun 2020 1:23pm, 6 Jun 2020 5,962 posts	0 Eynsham Red
Jock Itch Jun 2020 6:37am, 7 Jun 2020 13,243 posts	0 Jock Itch When my girlfriend said she was thinking of leaving over my obsession with The Monkees I thought she was joking. And then I saw her face
Maclennane Jun 2020 10:27am, 7 Jun 2020 24,595 posts	0 Maclennane phoned my mate from the line outside the DIY shop. He asked how big the queue was, and I said "about the same size as the B"
daz1927 Jun 2020 5:50pm, 7 Jun 2020 5,793 posts	0 daz1927 Just told my new girlfriend that I suffer from premature ejaculation. She took it on the chin....
Mouseytongue Jun 2020 6:15pm, 7 Jun 2020 4,816 posts	0 Mouseytongue The man who invented autocorrect has died. May he roast in piss.
mr d Jun 2020 6:45pm, 7 Jun 2020 3,656 posts	0 mr d Why did the chicken cross the road? To wave a Bible in front of a church.
daz1927 Jun 2020 9:09pm, 7 Jun 2020 5,794 posts	0 daz1927 During lockdown I did an online IQ test to pass the time. When I’d finished it, they wanted £14.99 to tell me the result. I declined, I may not have discovered if I'm a genius but at least I know I'm not fucking stupid.