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Jun 2018
7:07am, 30 Jun 2018
5,486 posts
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daz1927
I'm not saying I'm bad in bed, but my wife must be the only woman in the country who looks forward to having a smear test.
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Jun 2018
7:11am, 30 Jun 2018
5,487 posts
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daz1927
Fed up with the ever increasing cost of motoring, a bloke sells his car and buys a camel. The next morning, he rides the camel through town and ties it up in the office carpark. He comes out at 5.00pm and the camel is gone so he rings the police to report it stolen.
A cop comes out and says "I will have to take some details. What colour was it"? The chap thought for a minute and said "Grey. No hang on brown. No, definitely grey"
OK says the cop "How many humps did it have"? The bloke scratched his head then said "Two. No, it could just be one. Hmmmm no it was definitely 2".
OK said the cop, "What sex was it"? The bloke replies instantly and without hesitation "Female".
The cop puts his notebook down and says "Now you weren't sure what colour it was, nor how many humps it has, so how can you be so positive what sex it is"?
"Simple" replies the bloke. "As I was riding through town this morning I went past a bus stop and heard someone say "Look at the cnut on that camel"
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Jun 2018
12:32pm, 30 Jun 2018
2,540 posts
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Dillthedog57
Roll up, roll up, read them before they get deleted 
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Jun 2018
12:41pm, 30 Jun 2018
26,187 posts
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Derby Tup
2/4
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Jun 2018
3:41pm, 30 Jun 2018
14,559 posts
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Ted
Daz picked the Glasgow mile weekend to go rogue. :D
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Jun 2018
7:47pm, 30 Jun 2018
3,013 posts
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mr d
Can’t believe Christopher Chope
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Jun 2018
7:49pm, 30 Jun 2018
3,014 posts
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mr d
Oops
Can’t believe Christopher Chope is against banning upskirting. If he wants a photo of a cnut he only need to take a selfie.
Thanks FB
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Jun 2018
10:29pm, 30 Jun 2018
26,197 posts
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Derby Tup
Can’t believe someone’s hacked daz’s account and posted something quite funny
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Jun 2018
11:53pm, 30 Jun 2018
28,612 posts
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Diogenes
But he soon overpowered them and returned to normal service
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Jul 2018
7:22am, 1 Jul 2018
5,488 posts
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daz1927
I went up to the missus this morning and said "I have a big problem"
She replied "Now look, you don't have a problem, we have a problem, remember our wedding day? for better for worse, for richer for poorer and all that, now what's this so called big problem"?
I said "We've got your sister pregnant"
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