Support thread for parents of teenagers
136 watchers
Mar 2023
7:58am, 28 Mar 2023
27,538 posts
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Lizzie Whizz
All very helpful, thank you x
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Mar 2023
8:11am, 28 Mar 2023
4,936 posts
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jelly
Is it mainstream school hgreav? Do you know why they don’t want to go back? I have an autistic son. (12) He hates school but he seems to be attending well for now. I think it helps that he has a g/f at school who he meets on the way and spends time with while he is there. My oldest who is 19 also had issues with going to school and flat refused for a few weeks, then when we moved here he wouldn’t settle and ended up being taught in the smaller setting of a Pupil Referal Unit! |
Mar 2023
9:12am, 30 Mar 2023
28,217 posts
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Serendippily
Still swimming away with no diagnosis and no pattern and no involvement from social services at all. She’s pissed with all her friends. She made two good days early in week. Curled up on floor Tue eve and unresponsive so accepted yesterday was wfh. Was quiet as mouse and refused today. Id take her to A&E but mrS has gone to london with car and she has a media trip tomorrow worth going for. I feel pretty fed up but am going to try and exercise and then see if i can get her in this afternoon.
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Mar 2023
10:37am, 30 Mar 2023
39,281 posts
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halfpint
Dipps does she have a planned reduced timetable or just going in when she can manage? It can be better to do it in a more planned way so she knows she only has to go in for x periods each day and it doesn't become completely overwhelming. Also it is then easier to keep some consistency with set classes rather than having patchy attendance in all classes - which adds to the pressure. Sorry if you have already thought of all these things.
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Mar 2023
11:18am, 30 Mar 2023
60,832 posts
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LindsD
Hugs Dipps. I don't know what you want from social services but they were utterly utterly useless with us and just blamed me for what happened. There were two visits and a report, most of which was bollocks. I was glad to see the back of them as I was genuinely worried that things might spiral out of control. What I did find a bit useful was/is the parenting support groups that I accessed through CAMHS. I don't know whether you can get access to something like that through being on the waiting list. A&E will definitely speed things up.
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Mar 2023
11:44am, 30 Mar 2023
28,219 posts
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Serendippily
Thanks both We are trying to make 60% HP but the funeral blew the pattern we had almost established and strike days and trips and two week rotations make no week same. The best pattern i have is to accept anything up to midday as a starting point with consequences if she says she is going to make a time and then doesn’t. And a target of at least two core subjects a week and one option and one tutor. Against odds she made it downstairs for 10.30 so is in for pe theory. Even if she is in pastoral for maths and science thats a start. |
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Mar 2023
11:48am, 30 Mar 2023
60,834 posts
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LindsD
That's good news.
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Mar 2023
12:14pm, 30 Mar 2023
28,220 posts
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Serendippily
Im hoping for a diagnosis from Camhs Linds. I think once its clear it may help her decide whether to work with it or try and hide behind it, and it will put her in an established narrative. But you should always be careful what you wish her
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Mar 2023
12:19pm, 30 Mar 2023
60,835 posts
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LindsD
Yes. I understand that. LittleD was very keen on getting a diagnosis but wouldn't engage enough for that to happen.
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Mar 2023
12:22pm, 30 Mar 2023
60,836 posts
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LindsD
Social services was something completely different and although they said they were there to support us really they were there to make sure we weren't the main problem. Which is appropriate I guess but not when the allocated worker is stressed, over-worked, under-trained and doesn't listen. I could really see how children get removed from their families when it isn't perhaps the best course of action. It wasn't his fault but he definitely didn't help one bit.
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