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Dec 2011
10:28am, 2 Dec 2011
3,486 posts
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Trin
Mine are 16 and 18, boy and girl respectively
They rarely want to communicate with me... unless they want something
The house has a permanent hostile atmosphere which I keep trying to clear
I never know when they are going to be home in the evening so eating together is impossible
If I ask them to do something then I might as well be asking them to swim the channel or climb K2!
Tell me this is normal... it's doing my head in!
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Dec 2011
10:30am, 2 Dec 2011
19,255 posts
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JingleNells
My oldest is 14. It is complete pot luck when I get home as to whether I get a big hug or a cold glare or a shouted "Why do you hate me!".
I'm learning to just roll with it. It's not easy.
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Dec 2011
10:33am, 2 Dec 2011
20,306 posts
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God Rest Ye Merry JenLmen
Yes. Normal. But that doesn't mean you can't disapprove of the behaviour you disapprove of. I can only speak of girls in terms of having been one but, relative to boys (which I have a few of :-)), I'd say we come out of it sooner, though the boys also come out of it and can become really rather nice to know.
Be there. Be strong. Don't put up with stuff you don't like - you're their mother not their staff. Don't try too hard to please them - you're their mother not their friend 
And don't worry. You aren't doing anything badly or wrong. You're doing what you can 
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Dec 2011
10:34am, 2 Dec 2011
9,201 posts
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sheri3004
Quite normal, I would say from my experience, especially the lack of communication and the not knowing when they are getting home. Do they get on with each other?
Mine is 20 now and there are signs of gradual improvements... Civilized conversation has been known to take place and after years of battling to get him to do anything, he now sometimes even does it without being asked.
There is hope
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Dec 2011
10:40am, 2 Dec 2011
319 posts
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Markj9035 gold rings
My God yes it's perfectly normal. My daughter, now 20, was an absolute nightmare. She was really vile from about 13 to 17. Told lies, left home, constant drama, it was truly horrendous. This from a child who was loved and supported by everyone around her. Just didn't give a shit about anyone or anything but herself, horrible, truly horrible person.
As I say, she's now 20. Has a small flat with her otehr half and has just had her second child. I'd rather she had waited but hey she's calmer now and definitely happier. Our relationship has taken a couple of years to repair but it' all good now. Hang in there.
Mind you, me and my sisters were horrible too and I think we've all turned out alright. Only took me until I was about 28 to "grow up", or stop being a teenager more accuratley.
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Dec 2011
10:50am, 2 Dec 2011
13,212 posts
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Johnny Sleighs
I have one teenager at the moment. his behaviour is practically pefect in every way. He is polite and unassuming, studies independently, has never had a de-merit at school - ever - and he does as he is asked first time and has a slightly amused view of me and my works as opposed to hating my guts.
This may come as a surprise to some on here given my rep as a grumpy old b*gger.
Please don't hate me.
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Dec 2011
10:52am, 2 Dec 2011
13,213 posts
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Johnny Sleighs
Mind you, his brother was quite different but still Not a Nightmare.
He's 23 now and really quite a nice lad who is much more well-adjusted than i was at his age.
I'm a lucky guy.
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Dec 2011
10:54am, 2 Dec 2011
12,117 posts
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Pestomum
Boundaries are key I think. And a reaaonable expectation that people living in my house do some housework.
I also think that some expectations will change when they're adults. But we're not there yet...
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Dec 2011
10:58am, 2 Dec 2011
4,775 posts
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Saint Nikaim
My lad is 14 next month, he's been fine so far but is there an optimium age where they turn into Kevin & Perry?
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Dec 2011
10:59am, 2 Dec 2011
320 posts
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Markj9035 gold rings
Yes, 14. Enjoy.
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