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Apr 2023
12:20pm, 18 Apr 2023
23,461 posts
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Meglet
(last para is re oldest...)
We think survery has already happened which may be helpful.
Having said that, he's already made up his mind and I don't think anything will change it. Just wish he would use some empathy and treat her like an adult
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Apr 2023
9:26pm, 18 Apr 2023
19,135 posts
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Autumnleaves
Is that a bit of a father/daughter thing? I know my Father-in-law took years & years to accept his daughter actually knew what she was doing compared to Mr AL.
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Apr 2023
10:01pm, 18 Apr 2023
9,346 posts
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Fields
I think it’s a man thing tbh! Similar situation in my own family
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Apr 2023
10:05pm, 18 Apr 2023
39,373 posts
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halfpint
If she wants to be seen as an adult she has to make her own decision. He can have a view but he doesn’t get to decide for her.
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Apr 2023
9:50am, 26 Apr 2023
4,659 posts
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Winniefree
I’m beginning to think I’ll need to start a companion thread in a couple of years when eldest turns 30! Currently very stressed out as we’re getting daily debtor’s letters at our address. She moved out three years ago but evidently hasn’t kept the banks/credit card companies updated. I gave her a timeframe to sort it and said I’d start opening them if she didn’t get it fixed. I’m beginning to half-expect a knock from the bailiffs 
I’ve no idea how much she owes but am having to fight hard with the impulse to offer to pay it off and give her a new start. Sadly we’ve been here before. I’ve offered to help her with budgeting and organising her finances but she’s reluctant. Meanwhile I’m thinking of places to hide the telly…..
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Apr 2023
10:01am, 26 Apr 2023
61,377 posts
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LindsD
That's so stressful
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Apr 2023
12:03pm, 26 Apr 2023
19,141 posts
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Autumnleaves
Oh that's tough on you x
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Apr 2023
12:16pm, 26 Apr 2023
23,483 posts
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Meglet
Oh dear. I wonder if you’re worried about bailiffs at your address you need to send the post back marked ‘not at this address’.
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Apr 2023
12:24pm, 26 Apr 2023
63,581 posts
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Velociraptor
That's hard, Winniefree I agree with Meglet. It would be wise to disconnect your address from your daughter even if it means opening the letters and contacting the institutions concerned.
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Apr 2023
12:32pm, 26 Apr 2023
46,490 posts
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HappyG(rrr)
Your own credit rating will be adversely affected too by debts at your address. Access to loans, credit cards or mortgages (and even mobile phone contract and energy contracts) can be affected.
You can apply for a dissociation from another name, showing as at same address, by contacting Equifax, Experian or Call Credit (only one needed, they share information between them). I think it's still called Dissociation. Might be wrong expression.
Sorry for you and your daughter's hard situation.
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