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Apr 2023
9:56pm, 17 Apr 2023
61,218 posts
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LindsD
That sounds really tough. I remember SS saying something similar to his Mum (about living with us) when she said she was moving out of London. He said it to hurt her and had no intention of living with us. So he also hurt us by using us as a threat.
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Apr 2023
10:12pm, 17 Apr 2023
23,458 posts
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Meglet
If that’s what she really wants I won’t object, but I don’t like the implication that I’ve pushed her into it. At the same time, I need to be able to live my life with my partner, if I waited until she finishes Uni it will be another 2y and we’re already fed up of not living together
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Apr 2023
10:27pm, 17 Apr 2023
22,271 posts
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Carpathius
In their 20s I think you can't protect them from toxic or unhelpful relatives, and they have to work out for themselves what their boundaries are.
I'd still be f-ing livid. Have a hug 
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Apr 2023
6:52am, 18 Apr 2023
61,220 posts
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LindsD
And I absolutely think you have the right to live wherever and with whoever you want, especially when your kids are over 18.
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Apr 2023
7:51am, 18 Apr 2023
47,520 posts
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DocM
It's a wrench to see the home where you spent years living as a child being sold. But if it's the right time for you it's the right time.
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Apr 2023
7:54am, 18 Apr 2023
39,371 posts
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halfpint
I agree. You have a right to do what makes you happy. Change is hard but she is grown up enough to work through that and make her own decision. All you can do is let her know you are including her in your plans.
Did eldest ask for her Dad to come see the house? Was she asking for his views?
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Apr 2023
8:47am, 18 Apr 2023
46,348 posts
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HappyG(rrr)
I asked my son (26) on his view of me and missus (his step mum of 17 years) moving to NZ in a few years. His response was so lovely - you have to do what makes you happy. We would budget to bring him and his partner and son to visit every couple of years and us to visit UK too.
Meglet, can't believe your ex is so obstructive. That's horrible. Hope things turn out well for you and your girls.  G
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Apr 2023
8:51am, 18 Apr 2023
61,227 posts
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LindsD
I can absolutely believe your ex is being like that as OH's ex is the same.
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Apr 2023
8:51am, 18 Apr 2023
61,228 posts
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LindsD
(24 years on)
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Apr 2023
11:27am, 18 Apr 2023
23,460 posts
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Meglet
Thanks all. It’s nice to know I’m not being unreasonable!
Re youngest, it’s not even a childhood home, we’ve been here 5y!
Re youngest, her dad hasn’t handled it well. He rang her after he’d seen it from the outside and said she shouldn’t go ahead. It was a while before we could tie up an internal viewing for him. He’s totally against the house and not even conceding we should get the survey. He keeps changing his tune about whether it’s structural or aesthetics he’s concerned about. He’s not exactly made the best housing and financial decisions himself, and I feel like he’s using his own standards and not looking at it through the eyes of a 24yo first time buyer.
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