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Support thread for parents of offspring in their 20’s

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Cheeky’s Father Christmas Dec 2022 8:14pm, 29 Dec 2022 3,028 posts	0 Cheeky’s Father Christmas Much good sense being spoken ^^^^ I think you were perfectly within your rights to be disappointed. It’s a pity that she didn’t have the perspective to understand that you can be sad without blaming her and just lashed out.
Autumnleaves Dec 2022 8:21pm, 29 Dec 2022 18,834 posts	0 Autumnleaves Very well put Cheeky’s Dad
Good King Carpathius Dec 2022 11:01am, 30 Dec 2022 21,993 posts	0 Good King Carpathius Thank you. It was more the coming down half an hour later, when she'd had time to think, that worried me. However, she does have a habit of turning it into something much bigger and usually involving us causing her emotional damage every time she's even mildly criticised by me or Mr Carp. I somehow missed off the last paragraph - which is where I told her I loved her, and her boyfriend, was just disappointed, not blaming her for my feelings and sorry that I had made her feel that way, but she was over-dramatising herself. Yep. Uncalled for, unhelpful, not a good move. Anyway, we had a booking at a dog field on Christmas Eve with some other people. She turned up there with boyfriend in tow as a shield. We had a hug. Mr Carp talked with her boyfriend. It's been fine since. She's in Cornwall now.
LindsD Dec 2022 11:02am, 30 Dec 2022 58,961 posts	0 LindsD I don't see a problem with what you said Carp
Good King Carpathius Dec 2022 11:07am, 30 Dec 2022 21,995 posts	0 Good King Carpathius The last bit was very unhelpful. Even if true.
LindsD Dec 2022 11:17am, 30 Dec 2022 58,964 posts	0 LindsD Ach. Cut yourself some slack (())
Autumnleaves Dec 2022 12:35pm, 30 Dec 2022 18,837 posts	0 Autumnleaves I think it sounds as if you handled it as well as you could have done, given that you didn't see it coming - we are only human, with feelings of our own after all xxx
Cheeky’s Dad Dec 2022 1:53pm, 30 Dec 2022 3,082 posts	0 Cheeky’s Dad However, she does have a habit of turning it into something much bigger and usually involving us causing her emotional damage every time she's even mildly criticised by me or Mr Carp. To be fair, she is not alone in that. My nephew recently told his Mum (my sister) that she had made him homeless and basically ruined his life, when she had given his bedroom to his sister when he went to university - he is 34. (She acknowledges she could have handled it better but had 3 other teenaged children at home and only a 3 bed house) I don’t hold with calling the younger generation “snowflakes” and it is a Good Thing that we pay more regard to mental health than we did when I was young, however I do sometimes think a little more emotional robustness wouldn’t go amiss
PaulaMc Dec 2022 3:52pm, 30 Dec 2022 11,527 posts	0 PaulaMc In the last 3-4 years we've been admonished for just about everything we've ever done. The latest one was for 'lying' about Santa/tooth fairy/Easter Bunny when they were little. Parents shouldn't lie to their children. This time we didn't rise to it and other family members backed us up, so it all died down quite quickly.
Meglet Apr 2023 9:04pm, 17 Apr 2023 23,457 posts	0 Meglet Slightly tricky weekend for me in relation to my two daughters. Youngest (21) is home from uni for Easter and sometimes lovely but sometimes moody. She’s panicking because I’m considering selling and buying a house with my partner of 3y but not only does she not want to move, she doesn’t want to share a house with ‘a man I don’t know’. She’s not really made much of an effort to get to know him. It won’t be until much later this year anyway, but she’s said she’d rather live with her dad. I’m quite upset by that as I know she usually prefers to be at mine. Oldest (24) is hoping to buy a house. I’ve viewed several with her and she’s had an offer accepted and things are progressing. Father and grandparents went to look at the weekend, told her they hated it and it has no redeeming features and have persuaded her to pull out, even though we’ve not had the survey yet. Her dad was so rude to her, did not treat her as an adult or with any empathy at all. He won’t discuss with me, and in fact called me a very rude word to a work colleague (we work in the same place). I’m just trying to be the best mum I can be but it’s so hard sometimes, and I’m finding that even after 10+ years apart my XH is still frustrating me, but even worse he is upsetting our daughter with behaviour that I recognise.