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May 2024
10:15pm, 16 May 2024
4,164 posts
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Oranj
An entire city has just gone missing in Yorkshire.
Police are looking for Leeds.
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May 2024
11:36pm, 16 May 2024
5,670 posts
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JCB
I heard that the police are also chasing some vicious invisible dogs. They only have a couple of leads to follow.
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May 2024
5:03am, 17 May 2024
26,580 posts
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Sigh
As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Warden’s funeral a voice from inside screams:
"I'm not dead, I'm not dead! Let me out!!!"
The Vicar smiles, leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters:
"Too late pal, the paperwork’s already done"
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May 2024
3:43pm, 17 May 2024
3,160 posts
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Mushroom
I've read all of Stephen King's books. The hardest part was sneaking into his house..
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May 2024
7:02am, 18 May 2024
49,230 posts
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DocM
I didn’t want to believe it when my Dad got sacked for stealing from his job working on the roads.
But when i went round to his house, all the signs were there.
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May 2024
7:02am, 18 May 2024
49,231 posts
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DocM
Have you ever tried blindfolded archery?
You don't know what you're missing!
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May 2024
11:00am, 19 May 2024
26,609 posts
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Sigh
I bought a one litre tub of Tipp-Ex yesterday.
I made a big mistake.
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May 2024
12:48pm, 19 May 2024
4,294 posts
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NordRunner
… one of their tanker trucks hit a newsstand the other day - it was if it had never been there.
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May 2024
5:22pm, 19 May 2024
27,756 posts
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Dvorak
Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows?
They’re making head lines.
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May 2024
5:28pm, 19 May 2024
27,757 posts
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Dvorak
A man has been drinking in the pub all night. When he stands up to leave, he falls flat on his face. He tries to stand one more time, but to no avail. Again, he falls flat on his face. He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once outside, he stands up and, sure enough, he falls flat on his face. The man decides to crawl the four blocks to his home.
When he arrives at the door, he stands up and falls flat on his face. He crawls through the door into his bedroom. When he reaches his bed, he tries one more time to stand up. This time, he manages to pull himself upright but he quickly falls right into bed. He is sound asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.
He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "So, you've been out drinking again!"
"Why do you say that?" he asks innocently.
"The pub called. You left your wheelchair there again."
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Mundane Joke Thread
Nov 2021