Joke of the day........

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Maclennane May 2021 12:42pm, 29 May 2021 27,352 posts	0 Maclennane How do you when a lead guitarist is at your door? They have the wrong key and can't come in.
AndyS May 2021 2:13pm, 29 May 2021 356 posts	0 AndyS What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine? With a drum machine, you only have to punch the instructions in once.
Big Al Widepants May 2021 4:08pm, 29 May 2021 4,724 posts	0 Big Al Widepants A Belgian clergyman friend of mine is a real hit with the ladies. I think he's a bit of a Loos canon.
daz1927 May 2021 7:16am, 30 May 2021 5,989 posts	0 daz1927 A bloke rang me yesterday and said - “I’m the dandy highwayman who you’re to scared to mention, I spend my cash on looking flash and grabbing your attention!” I tried to tell him he had the wrong number, but he was adamant.
JK chameleon May 2021 7:43am, 30 May 2021 14,382 posts	0 JK chameleon Getting deja vu... fetcheveryone.com/forum/joke-of-the-day-7848/2068
FergusG May 2021 3:11pm, 30 May 2021 4,411 posts	0 FergusG My sister is taking part in a social experiment. She has to wear a “Boris is doing his best” t-shirt for 2 weeks and see how people react. So far she’s been spit on, punched and had a bottle thrown at her! I’m curious to see what happens when she goes outside.
Bazoaxe May 2021 6:59pm, 30 May 2021 19,885 posts	0 Bazoaxe Fergus wins the thread
57.5 Degrees of Pain May 2021 7:50pm, 30 May 2021 7,296 posts	0 57.5 Degrees of Pain Though sadly it only really makes sense inn Scotland.
Jock Itch May 2021 9:20pm, 31 May 2021 13,502 posts	0 Jock Itch My wife said, “You really have no sense of direction, do you?” I said, “Where did that come from?”
Jock Itch May 2021 9:25pm, 31 May 2021 13,503 posts	0 Jock Itch My girlfriend is fed up of my constant wordplay jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?" “Whatever means necessary,” she replied. “No it doesn’t,” I said.