Nov 2020
8:00pm, 7 Nov 2020
915 posts
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Muttley
I have a confession to make. My real name is actually Flora Margarine, but I don't like to spread it around.
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Nov 2020
4:03pm, 8 Nov 2020
5,915 posts
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daz1927
What has four wheels and flies?
A dustbin lorry.
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Nov 2020
4:04pm, 8 Nov 2020
5,916 posts
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daz1927
What's the difference between me and a calendar?
A calendar has dates.
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Nov 2020
4:07pm, 8 Nov 2020
5,917 posts
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daz1927
Wife sent me a text saying she was in Casualty. Watched all of it and never saw her and I'm starving. Still isn't home yet.
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Nov 2020
4:09pm, 8 Nov 2020
5,918 posts
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daz1927
A sign in our church reads: 'We regret that the box marked 'for the sick' must be restricted to monetary contributions.'
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Nov 2020
4:19pm, 8 Nov 2020
178 posts
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SteveCRunner
What's the quickest way out of Manchester? A bottle of gin.
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Nov 2020
5:39pm, 8 Nov 2020
38 posts
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dUNKle
Bloody fireworks
Last night I decided to let my pet sleep on my bed due to how anxious it seemed. Sadly, woke up this morning and the goldfish was dead 😞
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Nov 2020
8:25am, 9 Nov 2020
5,919 posts
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daz1927
Due to Covid-19 regs, if people/relatives pop round for Christmas, police have the power to come and force them home. Anyone know if there is a website for this service and is it free?
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Nov 2020
1:26am, 10 Nov 2020
12,801 posts
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Jason1969
Not knowing about Greek mythology is my Achilles horse.
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Nov 2020
11:28am, 10 Nov 2020
25,998 posts
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Maclennane
This bloke said to me, he said can you tell me your availability to run a football team in Sheffield? I said I can’t manage Wednesday.
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