Joke of the day........

30 lurkers | 502 watchers

daz1927 May 2020 1:30pm, 23 May 2020 5,783 posts	0 daz1927 Received a wrong number call from a recruitment agency. She said to me: "Sir I have two openings for you" I replied : Of course you have love. There was a long silence and then she said..... Arsehole! I said, "I actually prefer the other one"
Jock Itch May 2020 6:09pm, 23 May 2020 13,231 posts	0 Jock Itch BREAKING: Winalot are on the verge of going bust... They've called in the retrievers!
honestmackem May 2020 11:05am, 24 May 2020 485 posts	0 honestmackem Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s okay. He woke up.
TnoP May 2020 1:34pm, 24 May 2020 2,332 posts	0 TnoP To the person who told me the definition of plethora.... Thank you, it means a lot
dUNKle May 2020 6:40pm, 24 May 2020 19 posts	0 dUNKle Stall in the market selling cakes. Every cake a pound said the sign So I’m looking, and there, on a shelf is one priced at 2.50 So I ask the fella “why are all your cakes a pound but that two pound fifty?” “Ah” he says “that’s Madeira cake”
Binks May 2020 8:37pm, 24 May 2020 8,015 posts	0 Binks Of course Boris thinks “a father’s instinct” is getting in car and driving for hundreds of miles...
halfpint May 2020 8:46am, 25 May 2020 31,167 posts	0 halfpint [you guys are life savers. Our 'voice on the table' activity for our team meeting is to share a joke. I just pinched the mis-sold PPE one. Hope I can share desktop.]
Dave W May 2020 9:51am, 25 May 2020 1,394 posts	0 Dave W From the Parody Boris Johnson twitter account.. Situations like this always remind me of something Dominic Cummings once said to me: "You can't sack me or I'll take you down with me you useless fat twat"
57.5 Degrees of Pain May 2020 6:38pm, 25 May 2020 5,762 posts	0 57.5 Degrees of Pain
Stander May 2020 10:10pm, 25 May 2020 3 posts	0 Stander When my grandad turned 60, he started walking 5 miles a day to keep fit. He’s 97 now and we have no idea where he is.