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Jul 2018
10:36am, 6 Jul 2018
9,542 posts
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Badger
That's a great idea
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Jul 2018
1:46pm, 6 Jul 2018
30,220 posts
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Lip Gloss
LD that's a good start. Think we need something like that for dad.
Spoke to my sister today and she hasn't managed to get hold of my dad so I am off to try just now. We assume he got home from hospital (don't know which one he was in, his neighbours are away for a few days.
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Jul 2018
5:03pm, 11 Jul 2018
23,146 posts
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LazyDaisy
Bit of an off-load, sorry...
I had a call from Mum's home on Monday to say that she had had bad sickness and diarrhoea overnight on Sunday so not to visit her. Obviously the d & v had made her dehydration all the worse and she was very confused indeed, but the Home's GP had seen her and apart from stopping her water tablets he just wanted regular observation rather than anything else. I had hoped he might admit her for IV fluids.
On Monday night things went from bad to worse with appalling squits and total confusion - she was delirious, possibly hallucinating and 'talking gobbledegook' according to the staff. GP took bloods yesterday but again, declined to admit her. The Home, in fairness to them, have been dealing with all of this uncomplainingly even though they are not a nursing home.
This morning one of the doctors at the surgery (but not the one with responsibility for the home) phoned with the test results. High white cell count, poor kidney function, anaemia, some other markers of poor state of play and he thought that although she's had a reasonable night with no more d&v, she should go to hospital. She refused to even discuss this. 
The Home's GP then called, and of course at that point she was surprisingly perky - no more squits, quite sociable and lucid, so he was happy for her to stay where she was.
I visited this afternoon for the first time since the start of this episode.
Unwell though she clearly still is, what were her first words to me? 'How much more weight are you going to put on? You're like the side of a house'. I was wearing a very loose linen dress I really feel she doesn't actually like me very much, as her default state of mind where I'm concerned seems always to be nasty.
Anyway, she was in the process of changing her clothes because she'd had another minor, mismanaged attack of the squits. I helped to get her sorted and she just wanted to lie down and sleep. She claims not be confused, just utterly exhausted. The latter is true and understandable, but the former is also true. She has taken to putting the clock I gave her face down, because she doesn't believe what it says.
I expect she'll recover a bit, but each time it's steps downward. I feel very sorry for her because it must be scary and horrible, but there's really not a lot else I can do, I think. I make sure to hold her hand, give her a hug and a smile, but what else? Extreme old age is the pits
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Jul 2018
5:08pm, 11 Jul 2018
3,605 posts
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TeeBee
Oh how horrid LD. I think this lurching between different states of confusion and levels of physical health is quite common. Surely doctors should know this.
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Jul 2018
5:13pm, 11 Jul 2018
37,739 posts
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.B.
You are doing all you can LD. So hard to see and deal with, especially when you are met with such harsh criticism. Must be hard but to take out personally. Just try to think of your wava scores if she says something about your body again - it’s a great body that does amazing stuff!
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Jul 2018
5:15pm, 11 Jul 2018
23,788 posts
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LindsD
That's awful LD. It must be hard, but can you see her nastiness towards you as a manifestation of her general fear and discomfort with the situation? My Dad got very nasty indeed towards the end and said some unforgivable things about and to my Mum (and possibly about me, but not to me, thank goodness). My Gran also was very nasty to my Mum when she was elderly. We lash out at those closest to us who we know won't forsake us no matter what.
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Jul 2018
5:21pm, 11 Jul 2018
23,083 posts
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DocMoye
Very difficult LD, ....it’s a bit like teenagers when they lash out at their parents because they are the nearest emotionally, but are perfectly civil to other people.
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Jul 2018
5:26pm, 11 Jul 2018
23,147 posts
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LazyDaisy
Thanks all. I'm sure you're right Linds, it's as much fear as anything. I can't help but find it hurtful but her situation is exponentially more awful than mine and I just need to remember that.
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Jul 2018
5:31pm, 11 Jul 2018
23,789 posts
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LindsD
That's exactly how I felt about my Dad, but it's so so difficult to deal with on a daily basis and you can't help but feel hurt.
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Jul 2018
6:21pm, 11 Jul 2018
8,058 posts
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Serendippily
((LD)) I agree it is like an explosion of all the powerlessness and it's very difficult to deal with. I am still currently not
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