Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

20 lurkers | 140 watchers

kaysdee 25 Jan 8:01pm, 25 Jan 2024 322 posts	0 kaysdee I’m sorry there is so much sad news here lately. Things haven’t gone well for OH. He’d been in the temporary care home since emergency respite in October and had received an offer for supported living accommodation… until the MDT team meeting yesterday. They’d support him living in a flat with a care package but said he is too unsafe to go outside alone. They can’t be confident that he wouldn’t leave and they can’t do community DoLS if you don’t have 121 care, so the only option is for him to stay in the care home permanently. He’s devastated, as am I. Things are progressing for S20 for his supported living move - he will have a 24/7 care package, so that’s why it’s different for him. His best interests application is now finally with the court of protection, so as soon as they give the go ahead, he can finally move after a short transition period. I’m just battered. I had to leave work today to comfort OH as he was naturally taking things very hard and intended to then wfh but only managed an hour before falling asleep for hours when I got home. I’m so tired. (S16 had his long awaited surgery earlier this month and he’s in casts/a wheelchair for 6 weeks. He can’t give the usual help he does for S20 and I have to get him to and from college each day on top of everything else. I feel like I need to sleep for a week).
LindsD 25 Jan 8:30pm, 25 Jan 2024 66,344 posts	0 LindsD I don't know how you manage. I'm not surprised you are shattered
Lip Gloss 25 Jan 9:46pm, 25 Jan 2024 73,598 posts	0 Lip Gloss Hugs Dipps and Kay. Things sound so hard and stressful for you both x
Little Miss Happy 26 Jan 6:44am, 26 Jan 2024 6,884 posts	0 Little Miss Happy What a lot to deal with again kaysdee, no wonder you're tired. I guess time off for you isn't an option? Is there any respite available to help whilst S16 is recuperating?
CK2 26 Jan 7:27am, 26 Jan 2024 2,586 posts	0 CK2 You must be exhausted kaysdee. I had the same question as LMH about additional support with S20.
Mandymoo 26 Jan 7:35am, 26 Jan 2024 18,225 posts	0 Mandymoo That sounds exhausting for you Kaysdee
Ness 26 Jan 7:38am, 26 Jan 2024 38,139 posts	0 Ness It does!
HappyG(rrr) 26 Jan 7:43am, 26 Jan 2024 49,266 posts	0 HappyG(rrr) That's terrible ksd. Hope uou can get some respite soon. G
ThorntonRunner 26 Jan 8:00am, 26 Jan 2024 7,270 posts	0 ThorntonRunner Can't begin to imagine how hard that all is for you ksd (())
Serendippily 26 Jan 9:50am, 26 Jan 2024 29,406 posts	0 Serendippily ((Ksd)) so much stress and distresd

About This Thread

Maintained by LindsD

I thought I'd start a thread, as lots of us have elderly folks that we worry about/care for.

Useful info for after someone dies here (with thanks to grast_girl)
moneysavingexpert.com

Other useful links

myageingparent.com

moneysavingexpert.com

Who pays for residential care? Information here:

ageuk.org.uk

Advice on care homes and payment/funding

theguardian.com

Also: After someone dies, if their home insurance was only in their name, sadly the cover becomes void. But if the policy was in joint names, it will still cover the surviving policyholder (though the names on the policy will need to be updated).

A useful book of exercises for memory loss and dementia
amazon.co.uk

Pension Credit. The rules are a bit complex but if your elderly relative has some sort of disability (in this case dementia/Alzheimer's) and go into a home, they may be able to claim pension credit. So if carers allowance stops, it seems pension credit can start. It can also be backdated.

Fall alarm company, etc.

careium.co.uk

Useful Links

FE accepts no responsibility for external links. Or anything, really.

Alarm company

Related Threads

The Sandwich Generation - Aged Ps and children to care for? Jun 2023
Parental Health Concerns Apr 2021
They're growing up - support for parents Sep 2016
Support thread for parents of teenagers Sep 2024
Family Fun Question Mar 2016
Assisting teens in choosing university for 2021 during a pandemic Nov 2020
Fetchie Family Law Experts- I need you! Apr 2019
Activity holidays for families Feb 2016
The Retirement Thread Oct 2024
Menopause and running Oct 2024

age
family
support

Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

About This Thread

Useful Links

Related Threads

Free training & racing tools for runners, cyclists, swimmers & walkers.