Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.
2 lurkers |
140 watchers
Sep 2023
5:57pm, 17 Sep 2023
59 posts
|
Runningbear21
Hello đź‘‹ New to this thread, my dad has just died which is terrible and shocking as it was so quick but he leaves behind my incredibly frail mum who he cared for 24/7. It's not possible for me or my siblings to do that geographically or financial. There's no lasting power of attorney in place for mum either and she can no longer see to read and can't hold a pen to write. The only option appears to be a care home which mum doesn't want. Has anyone been in a similar situation and can offer advice? Thanks |
Sep 2023
6:31pm, 17 Sep 2023
63,922 posts
|
LindsD
I'm sorry. That sounds very difficult
|
Sep 2023
7:03pm, 17 Sep 2023
15,454 posts
|
jda
Sorry for your loss. A PoA can be created if your mother has capacity (understanding), the physical signature is not essential. However it will take weeks to months to come into effect. I'm afraid if full time care is needed (and no relatives can do it) then a care home is basically the only answer. From what I've read, 24/7 care in the home is typically twice the cost and that's assuming you can even manage to arrange it reliably. |
|
Sep 2023
7:20pm, 17 Sep 2023
60 posts
|
Runningbear21
Thanks, it's all horrible, my sisters arrive from Oz and the States tomorrow, my elder sister is bringing a teenage daughter with her and mum doesn't want to see her. I have a horrible feeling it's just going to get worse rather than better
|
Sep 2023
7:25pm, 17 Sep 2023
31,683 posts
|
macca 53
So sorry Runningbauble21. I hope you can find a workable solution for your mum ((()))
|
Sep 2023
7:40pm, 17 Sep 2023
5,693 posts
|
icemaiden
If your mum owns her own home that can be used to pay for the care home. You don't have to pay up front if she can agree to it. You don't have to sell the house straight away. She can run up a bill which is paid out of the estate when she passes. They will charge interest. If she doesn't own her home and has little or no assets the council has to pay if they agree this is the best way forward. If they say she is suitable for home based care they can pay towards that.
|
|
Sep 2023
7:41pm, 17 Sep 2023
5,694 posts
|
icemaiden
If she wasn't already getting it now is the time to claim attendance allowance, which can be spent on home help or the care home.
|
Sep 2023
8:28pm, 17 Sep 2023
71,304 posts
|
Lip Gloss
If your mum owns her own home that can be used to pay for the care home. You don't have to pay up front if she can agree to it. You don't have to sell the house straight away. She can run up a bill which is paid out of the estate when she passes. They will charge interest. If she doesn't own her home and has little or no assets the council has to pay if they agree this is the best way forward. If they say she is suitable for home based care they can pay towards that. That’s what we had to do for my dad. Sorry for your loss runningbear. Hope the next few days and weeks gets easier after the initial shock of it all. |
Sep 2023
8:52pm, 17 Sep 2023
2,265 posts
|
CK2
That’s such a dreadful situation for you all Runningbear and so difficult considering such significant decisions when you’re all so traumatised. A care home would seem to make most sense as others have said. I’m not surprised she doesn’t want this as it’s a huge change on top of the sudden bereavement. Are you able to discuss options with her? If possible, involving her may help her to appreciate the limited options available.
|
Sep 2023
8:54pm, 17 Sep 2023
1,966 posts
|
Vixx
Runningbauble21 - can your mom have carers at home, or are her needs too complex? My mom had 4 care visits at home per day. But she was bedbound, so a bit easier to manage.
|
Related Threads
-
The Sandwich Generation - Aged Ps and children to care for?
Jun 2023
-
Parental Health Concerns
Apr 2021
-
They're growing up - support for parents
Sep 2016
-
Support thread for parents of teenagers
Sep 2024
-
Family Fun Question
Mar 2016
-
Assisting teens in choosing university for 2021 during a pandemic
Nov 2020
-
Fetchie Family Law Experts- I need you!
Apr 2019
-
Activity holidays for families
Feb 2016
-
The Retirement Thread
Oct 2024
-
Over 50's club
Oct 2024
