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Aug 2023
9:05pm, 30 Aug 2023
25,531 posts
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Bazoaxe
It becomes difficult when one sibling goes out of their way to create issues and leads to tears from both his sister and his mother.
I know he has mental health issues but they can no longer be used as an excuse.
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Sep 2023
7:07am, 4 Sep 2023
25,560 posts
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Bazoaxe
My son and his now fiancée returned from California and so yesterday they came round to tel mil their news in person.
She doesn’t see them often so took a while before she worked out who they were and then there was some confusion in the telling.
However when she realised the news it was lovely to see her reaction. It fair cheered her up.
Sadly though the carer who was there said BiL appeared to have let himself into the stair the previous night but not the flat and left the medication propped against the door.
I have tried sending a text to see if there is any way we can find some common ground as the impact this is having on all involved is quite significant. No reply yet which I hope means he is sleeping on it.
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Sep 2023
7:52am, 4 Sep 2023
63,674 posts
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LindsD
Fingers crossed Baz
Glad that MiL was happy about the news
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Sep 2023
2:01pm, 4 Sep 2023
6,632 posts
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Little Miss Happy
Nice that MiL was able to understand and appreciate the good news Baz. I guess a small glimmer of hope is that BiL hasn't absolved himself of all responsibility?
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Sep 2023
7:01pm, 4 Sep 2023
25,562 posts
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Bazoaxe
That was nice LMH.
I am not sure on the glimmer as he normally drops the medication in and also visits. It is his turn to do shopping this weekend and will he just leave that outside?
I have had no reply to my text yet so am hoping he is giving it some consideration. If he doesn’t reply or rejects the approach I am not sure where that leaves us. Especially as there will be at some stage be a wedding invite going through his door.
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Sep 2023
7:34pm, 4 Sep 2023
12,267 posts
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lammo
Or not....
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Sep 2023
6:13pm, 9 Sep 2023
15,432 posts
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jda
FiL's car is disposed of and he seems to be avoiding any face to face discussion over the subject so I guess at some level he knows he's not getting another one. We have provisionally arranged for someone to drive him to the shops as a sort of welfare visit - we did it ourselves yesterday but it's not something we can be tied to on a regular basis (for one thing we're about to go away for a month) and anyway a few more visits and trips while he can is probably a good idea. The cost is of course peanuts compared to a care home which is his likely fate at some point. He's also clearly failing on financial affairs so my wife has invoked PoA with the bank and is sorting out his desperately incoherent tax return...
Worrying smell of oil in his house, it's been getting gradually worse. At first we thought it was probably fumes from the non-functional heating system, but are coming round to thinking it's more likely an oil leak somewhere under the building. Ho hum. Will try to turn the tap off next time we visit. The building is probably going to be condemned anyway when the time comes...
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Sep 2023
6:16pm, 9 Sep 2023
15,433 posts
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jda
He has also just got a new driving licence which seemed odd since his isn't due for renewal for a while yet, then I had a moment of inspiration and google confirmed that the DVLA will often give a short-duration one to Alzheimer's patients. Not that it matters much other than as a handy ID card.
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Sep 2023
6:19pm, 9 Sep 2023
63,792 posts
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LindsD
Oil smell sounds worrying
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Sep 2023
6:28pm, 9 Sep 2023
6,641 posts
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Little Miss Happy
That doesn’t sound great jda.
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The Sandwich Generation - Aged Ps and children to care for?
Jun 2023
