Dec 2020
7:13pm, 7 Dec 2020
43,133 posts
|
LindsD
She's home. We haven't talked to her yet.
|
Dec 2020
7:25pm, 7 Dec 2020
119 posts
|
kaysdee
Good luck. I don’t even know how you’d go about it.
Last year my D’s (14 at the time) friend’s mum contacted me as she’d seen some of her daughter’s group messages with others discussing pot and drugs. We were on holiday at the time so I know mine wasn’t involved, but I spoke to her and she freely showed me the messages and assured me she disapproved and was not partaking. She set her own boundary with them that they could obviously do what they liked outside of her presence but she wouldn’t tolerate it and would leave if they tried to do anything in her company. The group very quickly fractured and she has a new set of friends who suit her much better.
|
Dec 2020
10:47pm, 7 Dec 2020
43,135 posts
|
LindsD
Thanks. That's helpful. She says she knows nothing about it and I believe her.
|
Dec 2020
11:08pm, 7 Dec 2020
120 posts
|
kaysdee
I genuinely mean it when I talk to my daughter, and it can be hard to get across sometimes as I never know what can of worms I might open, but I often try the approach of “I just want you to be honest with me. Even though I might not want to hear it, I will listen and we can work it through”. Sometimes it’s led to some quite unexpected talks, but I do try to keep quiet and let her talk. Often what comes out of these conversations is things she hasn’t been sure how to deal with in regards to friends and how to help them through their situations.
She is loyal and doesn’t want to betray their confidence, but some things have been quite big for a 15yr old to process and she feels much better after talking in hypotheticals. She is a really good kid. I don’t fool myself she is perfect, but she tries her best. I feel proud that she is so open with me about her own lifestyle choices too and it’s just a non issue. So refreshing.
It occurred to me the other night that I’ve been “reiterating” to her too much of try your hardest in mocks as you don’t know what will happen with GCSE’s, show effort to your teachers, etc... and that I hadn’t actually given her much positive lately. She’s really good at graphic design and is massively into Japanese art and sent me a picture she did. Perfect opportunity to tell her that she is really talented and that I’m proud of her and she is a great daughter. Balances with the frustration of trying to get her out of bed at 2-3pm on a weekend and the disappearing crockery that is discovered in her bedroom! And man, can she argue/debate. My husband laughs when she and I are exchanging counter arguments and says “she’s learnt from the best, you have an answer to everything”. It’s not so good to be on the receiving end 😂
|
Dec 2020
9:51am, 8 Dec 2020
43,142 posts
|
LindsD
This all sounds very familiar!
The more I think about it, the more annoyed I am with the school. Two of her friends also received the call. Basically the school asked me to ground her on absolutely no evidence that she had done anything wrong. They were covering their backsides.
|
Dec 2020
10:01am, 8 Dec 2020
19,930 posts
|
Serendippily
I think they must have panicked that you weren’t on high alert worry *all* the time Linds. I regard their behaviour hanging around street corners watching people hanging around street corners as highly suspicious. They should all be grounded anc have their iPads taken away forthwith
|
Dec 2020
10:09am, 8 Dec 2020
43,143 posts
|
LindsD
I think that's about it. I said to the teacher 'do you think 14 year olds tell the truth about where they are and who they are with?' and he said 'I don't have a 14 year old'. I was too mad to make the point that a. he was 14 once (and not that long ago, I reckon) and b. he's the head of year of bloody 300 of them.
|
Dec 2020
10:27am, 8 Dec 2020
33,430 posts
|
halfpint of mulled cider
Bloody hell, if being in the vicinity of people who may or may not be 'a bad influence' was a grounding offense the whole school would be permanently grounded. It doesn't even sound as if it was a genuine concern for the welfare of the YP. You know my thoughts on that particular school.
QP has embraced my random advent texts. Tonight I need to take a picture of 'that' house that has the most cheesy, awful display each year. It's usually a highlight. They have a penchant for those weird inflatable things. At least 4 of the things this year.
|
Dec 2020
10:31am, 8 Dec 2020
43,149 posts
|
LindsD
I love your text idea.
I'm sure the school only called so that *if* something were to happen, they could abdicate all responsibility.
|
Dec 2020
10:32am, 8 Dec 2020
43,150 posts
|
LindsD
And I'm sure I have "unsupportive parent, prone to outbursts on the telephone" written in red next to my name.
|