Support thread for parents of offspring in their 20’s

51 watchers

Carpathius Dec 2020 7:40pm, 5 Dec 2020 20,269 posts	0 Carpathius If that's the main reason to text me, I'll assume she's OK
DingDocMerrily Dec 2020 8:10am, 6 Dec 2020 38,521 posts	0 DingDocMerrily my 20 year old has arrived home from uni and looks like he has actually arrived from the 70s. there is a lot of hair.
Trinsel Jan 2021 3:26pm, 2 Jan 2021 2,997 posts	0 Trinsel I am currently quite cross with my son (who is 25). I sent him a message late on New Year's Eve, wishing him Happy New Year, plus other mum stuff, but didn't get a reply. Initially I thought maybe it's delayed due to network issues and everyone sending messages because he has never missed sending me a Happy New Year message before. I still hadn't heard anything by yesterday afternoon and could see that he hadn't even read my message. I became a bit worried so I messaged his Dad and asked if Dan had been in touch. The reply came straight back and said Dan hadn't been in touch, but he was over in Bristol on NYE afternoon picking up two mates to bring back to his house so they could all get drunk and his mates stayed overnight! Apart from that being totally against the Covid regulations in every way, they all risk passing the virus on to each other and those they come in contact with including my son's pregnant partner who was also breaking rules by being somewhere else overnight. It also really upsets me that he is still not taking the current situation seriously, despite all I've said, and the way we have worked hard within the regulations so we could spend a few hours with them both on Christmas Day. And on top of that, we have just bought the brand new house that they moved in to a week before Christmas, so they could have a good start to their life together as a family, and he didn't even think to wish us a Happy New Year. I did finally get a reply from him this morning saying that he was 'very drunk on NYE but Happy New Year' with a laughing emoji. I can't reply to him at the moment for fear of saying the wrong thing. I needed to get all this out because I really don't know what to do, and I'm feeling pretty annoyed with him.
LindsD Jan 2021 4:21pm, 2 Jan 2021 44,057 posts	0 LindsD I totally understand that, Trin. Hope it helped writing it down
Carpathius Jan 2021 6:40pm, 2 Jan 2021 20,381 posts	0 Carpathius Trin, I sympathise so much. Ranting here helps just to get what you'd like to say out of your brain and heard by someone.
ChrisHB Jan 2021 8:17pm, 2 Jan 2021 20,352 posts	0 ChrisHB Brexit and now Covid really are splitting families.
Trinsel Jan 2021 8:53pm, 2 Jan 2021 2,998 posts	0 Trinsel And my mine can't afford to be split any further
PaulaMc Jan 2021 9:59am, 3 Jan 2021 10,141 posts	0 PaulaMc COVID has helped deepen the divides in my family, both in how people have reacted to the rules and their subsequent behaviour, and in how the lockdowns and inability to work have affected people mentally.
ThorntonRunner May 2021 10:50am, 25 May 2021 4,941 posts	0 ThorntonRunner Not sure whether this is really appropriate for this thread, but it seems the closest: We have good friends G & N that we've known since late teenage years (long story, at one point G and Mrs TR were engaged!). They have three children, we have two - the five of them aged between 21 and 26. Whilst we've never lived closer than 50 miles from them we've met up two or three times a year and kept in touch, and the five have been good friends, although not necessarily communicating that regularly. G&N's eldest - M, started showing signs of lack of coordination when about 10, and this gradually got worse, along with a slowdown in mental development. I could never get my head around the medical diagnosis (gradual disintegration of the cerebellum?), but by mid-teens M was having to use walking aids, and then a wheelchair, and then to needing 24 hour care and full support with all needs. G & N have completely dedicated the last few years to looking after her and giving her the best quality of life they could despite her continued deterioration (in G's case whilst also holding down a college lecturing post). M passed away yesterday evening aged 26. Incredibly sad, but hopefully a release for both M and G&N. As I say, not sure whether this is the right thread, but just felt I needed to write it down somewhere.
Autumnleaves May 2021 10:53am, 25 May 2021 16,685 posts	0 Autumnleaves That's very sad TR, but as you say perhaps a release. I can't begin to imagine how hard it must be to watch a child deteriorate like that.