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Joke of the day........

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Nord Rundeer 🦌 Dec 2024 9:29am, 24 Dec 2024 4,845 posts	0 Nord Rundeer 🦌 Why didn't Dad get any Christmas chocolates? Because they were Mars.
Muttley Dec 2024 12:41pm, 24 Dec 2024 3,679 posts	0 Muttley I disposed of some nigella seeds onto the compost heap. The garden is now full of women licking cream from their fingers.
Mountkeen Dec 2024 12:46pm, 24 Dec 2024 626 posts	0 Mountkeen My wife has been giving me pretty obvious hints as to what she wants for Christmas.....she's been leaving jewellery catalogues all over the house. So I've bought her a magazine rack
Mozzer Dec 2024 12:57pm, 24 Dec 2024 96 posts	0 Mozzer When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
Jock Itch Dec 2024 9:10pm, 25 Dec 2024 14,070 posts	0 Jock Itch The only gift I got for Christmas was a deck of sticky playing cards. I'm having a hard time dealing with this...
Dvorak Dec 2024 1:41am, 27 Dec 2024 28,360 posts	0 Dvorak Fellas, what a great day for pouring a tray of ice cubes down the front of your wife's nightie, and saying "there's the chest freezer you always wanted!"
Nellers Dec 2024 6:15am, 27 Dec 2024 44,398 posts	0 Nellers Is Ken Dodd still going?
Nellers Dec 2024 6:16am, 27 Dec 2024 44,399 posts	0 Nellers And either way: What a great day for knocking on the door of the Kremlin and asking "Is Len in?"
Mountkeen Dec 2024 8:57pm, 27 Dec 2024 627 posts	0 Mountkeen My wife called me at work and asked, “Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone has a voodoo doll of you and they’re stabbing it?” “No……”, I replied “How about now?” she asked.
Mountkeen 1 Jan 12:51pm, 1 Jan 2025 629 posts	0 Mountkeen When I was little, I didn’t care what clothes I wore, I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look at old photos, I realise that they didn’t care either.