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Joke of the day........

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Red Squirrel Apr 2024 7:33pm, 23 Apr 2024 23,729 posts	Quote Pin Red Squirrel 3 good ones Mushroom [Applauds]
No.12 Apr 2024 5:44am, 25 Apr 2024 3,615 posts	Quote Pin No.12 why is it these days that nobody is ever just plain whelmed?
Mushroom Apr 2024 5:28pm, 25 Apr 2024 3,128 posts	Quote Pin Mushroom My mate accused me of not being a true cockney. So I pushed him down the apples and limes.
Muttley Apr 2024 7:04pm, 25 Apr 2024 3,160 posts	Quote Pin Muttley Reminds me of a favourite old gag. I hailed a taxi in London and said to the cabbie, "Hampton Court, mate?" "No", he replied. "I always drive like this."
DocM Apr 2024 10:10am, 27 Apr 2024 49,151 posts	Quote Pin DocM I walked by a clock shop today just to pass the time.
Mushroom Apr 2024 9:51am, 30 Apr 2024 3,133 posts	Quote Pin Mushroom I always wanted to be a Gregorian monk, but I never got the chants.
Oranj Apr 2024 12:37pm, 30 Apr 2024 4,141 posts	Quote Pin Oranj Q: My daughter will not eat fish, what can I replace it with? A: A cat. Cats love fish.
Mushroom May 2024 11:39am, 1 May 2024 3,134 posts	Quote Pin Mushroom The local nudist camp has been alerted to a hole found drilled through the perimeter fence. Police are looking into it.
Stander May 2024 12:04pm, 1 May 2024 219 posts	Quote Pin Stander Are these the same police investigating the theft of all the toilets from the police station but are baffled by how they did it. They have absolutely nothing to go on.
Nellers May 2024 12:25pm, 1 May 2024 42,761 posts	Quote Pin Nellers Or the police who arrested two men for stealing batteries and fireworks. They charged one and let the other off.