Joke of the day........

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SheepGoToHeaven Dec 2023 12:45pm, 9 Dec 2023 3 posts	0 SheepGoToHeaven My local circus had a contortionist competition. I entered myself. And won.
Footpather Dec 2023 12:45pm, 9 Dec 2023 4 posts	0 Footpather Who is Santa's favourite singer? Elfis of course
Jbdeals22 Dec 2023 12:45pm, 9 Dec 2023 2 posts	0 Jbdeals22 I told my mum I could make a car out of spaghetti. She didn’t believe me until I drove pasta!
XBalidocious Dec 2023 12:47pm, 9 Dec 2023 17,061 posts	0 XBalidocious My wife was telling me that women can multi task and men can't. I told her to sit down and shut up but she couldn't.
Old Mum Dec 2023 12:48pm, 9 Dec 2023 270 posts	0 Old Mum Why has Santa been banned from sooty chimneys? Carbon footprints.
ReindeerRonnie Dec 2023 12:50pm, 9 Dec 2023 2,875 posts	0 ReindeerRonnie Did you hear about the naughty poet? He lived a life of chrime and a life of rhyme.
57.5 Days of Xmas Dec 2023 12:51pm, 9 Dec 2023 15,211 posts	0 57.5 Days of Xmas Does this explain Andy's drinking habits? A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time." The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado. When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss." The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine, it's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and the pastor promised hellfire for anyone taking the devil's drink. I had to quit immediately." “It hasn't affected my brothers though."
Cheeky’s Father Christmas Dec 2023 12:53pm, 9 Dec 2023 4,306 posts	0 Cheeky’s Father Christmas What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus
Cheeky’s Father Christmas Dec 2023 12:54pm, 9 Dec 2023 4,307 posts	0 Cheeky’s Father Christmas Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
Oranj Dec 2023 1:18pm, 9 Dec 2023 4,017 posts	0 Oranj Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu: You get what you deserve. [This is my local curry house, no kidding! karmarestaurant.com ]