Joke of the day........

1 lurker | 506 watchers
Feb 2023
10:10pm, 24 Feb 2023
13,846 posts
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Jock Itch
I've been trying to break up with an Optician recently....
it's really hard!

Every time I tell her I can’t see her anymore she moves an inch closer and says: "How about now?"
Feb 2023
10:11pm, 24 Feb 2023
13,847 posts
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Jock Itch
Why is Billy Joel's laundry still wet?

He didn't start the dryer.
Feb 2023
10:32pm, 24 Feb 2023
176 posts
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Treborstreet
Why is Billy Joel's laundry still wet? He didn't start the dryer.
Groan……
Feb 2023
10:46pm, 24 Feb 2023
12,006 posts
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57.5 Degrees of Pain
A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat beside another guy.

“What are you drinking?”, he asks.

“Magic beer”, says the second man.

“Oh yeah?”, says the first guy. “What’s so magical about it?”.

“I’ll show you”, says the second guy, who takes a swig, dives off the roof, flies around, and returns his seat.

“Amazing!”, says the first guy, grabbing the bottle of beer and taking a huge gulp.

“Let me have a go!”. He takes a dive off the roof, and plummets fifteen floors to his death.

The barman gives a sigh, turns to the second man, and says “You know Superman, you’re a real asshole when you’re drunk...".
Feb 2023
8:00am, 25 Feb 2023
19,293 posts
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Sigh
I got fired from the keyboard factory today.

The boss said I wasn’t putting in enough shifts.

That’s when I completely lost CTRL.
Feb 2023
10:14pm, 25 Feb 2023
21,061 posts
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richmac
Is that an ALt joke?
Feb 2023
10:43pm, 25 Feb 2023
916 posts
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Silent Runner
Is there no escape from these jokes?
Feb 2023
11:10pm, 25 Feb 2023
8,523 posts
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DoricQuine
Three prawns ..... which one's the biggest?

The langoustine.
Feb 2023
6:48am, 27 Feb 2023
7,425 posts
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Pothunter
My doctor told me I’m suffering from paranoia.

He didn’t actually say that, but I could tell that was what he was thinking.
Mar 2023
4:41pm, 1 Mar 2023
1,865 posts
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AndyS
The film "Groundhog Day" came out 30 years ago - yet it only feels like yesterday.

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