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Joke of the day........

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JRitchie Sep 2020 7:53pm, 11 Sep 2020 1,922 posts	Quote Pin JRitchie People are complaining at Boris Johnson breaking political treaties but to be fair we should know that he’s never been good with withdrawal agreements. Just ask Carrie Symons.
57.5 Degrees of Pain Sep 2020 9:30pm, 11 Sep 2020 6,163 posts	Quote Pin 57.5 Degrees of Pain That's slightly better. After the last two pages I was getting nostalgic about 'Seven Dwarves' jokes.
Stander Sep 2020 7:52am, 12 Sep 2020 103 posts	Quote Pin Stander I've just used a copy of the Daily Mail to kill a fly. I read the first three pages out loud and it shot itself.
JulesR Sep 2020 8:09am, 12 Sep 2020 25,517 posts	Quote Pin JulesR Be aware We ordered Chinese from a local place (we won't name them) went to pick it up and as I was driving home, heard the bags rustling and moving!!! I thought what on earth is that? Has something got in the bag? I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out. I was driving so pulled over, I leaned forward, picked up the bag, put it on the passenger seat and there it was again, more rustling and little eyes looking out behind the ginger beef, I thought its got to be a rat or a mouse or something, so I carefully pulled the bag down ... And there it was ... ... A Peeking Duck!
daz1927 Sep 2020 7:45am, 13 Sep 2020 5,881 posts	Quote Pin daz1927 My wife said she wanted something nice and silky for her birthday. No doubt this tin of Dulux will be the wrong colour.
daz1927 Sep 2020 7:47am, 13 Sep 2020 5,882 posts	Quote Pin daz1927 I got in touch with my inner self today. Remind me never to buy cheap toilet paper again.
daz1927 Sep 2020 7:52am, 13 Sep 2020 5,883 posts	Quote Pin daz1927 You can burn up to 150 calories through one vigorous session of masturbation. Still got kicked out of my Weight Watchers meeting though....
daz1927 Sep 2020 7:53am, 13 Sep 2020 5,884 posts	Quote Pin daz1927 I think I'll hire a different plumber in future, instead of that young guy. He's fixed the tap, but left my wife dripping....
daz1927 Sep 2020 7:55am, 13 Sep 2020 5,885 posts	Quote Pin daz1927 A lot of people are under the impression that Maid Marian was Robin Hood's lover. It was in fact Trudie Glenn....
mushroom Sep 2020 11:23am, 13 Sep 2020 1,228 posts	Quote Pin mushroom Got a new job as a bell ringer. It's my first day tomorrow, so they'll probably just be showing me the ropes..