Joke of the day........

14 lurkers | 504 watchers
Jock Itch
Jock Itch
Oct 2019
10:02pm, 3 Oct 2019
13,037 posts
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Jock Itch
I know a joke about Elton John. It's a little bit funny...
Jock Itch
Jock Itch
Oct 2019
10:03pm, 3 Oct 2019
13,038 posts
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Jock Itch
My girlfriend was putting sun cream on.

"Do you mind doing my back?" she asked.

"Let's pretend I'm your butler," I winked. "My name's Dawes."

"Ok!" she giggled. "Would you mind doing my back, Dawes?"

And that was all the invitation I needed!
daz1927
daz1927
Oct 2019
5:43am, 4 Oct 2019
5,603 posts
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daz1927
The wife has piled on the pounds of late, last night I came home from work and she was lying on the bed in a leopard skin print dress ....

I thought it was Fred Flintstone
daz1927
daz1927
Oct 2019
5:44am, 4 Oct 2019
5,604 posts
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daz1927
Child to his mum;
'Mummy, what is dark humour?'

'Well sweetheart, you see that man over there with no arms?'

'No Mummy, I'm blind'

'Exactly.'
Stander
Stander
Oct 2019
9:06am, 4 Oct 2019
16,102 posts
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Stander
Women who carry a few extra pounds tend to live longer than those that mention it.
daz1927
daz1927
Oct 2019
10:47am, 4 Oct 2019
5,605 posts
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daz1927
The Scottish Parliament has made it illegal for parents to give their kids a little smack.

So it's Cannabis only from now on, I'm afraid...
Bez-head
Bez-head
Oct 2019
5:16pm, 4 Oct 2019
4,783 posts
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Bez-head
It’s a 5 minute walk to the pub from my house and a 35 minute walk home.

The difference is staggering
daz1927
daz1927
Oct 2019
6:27pm, 4 Oct 2019
5,606 posts
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daz1927
Thanks to Jock Itch for the nomination. 😜

However, as expected my nomination has been removed 🤣

Maybe next time 👍
Derby Tup
Derby Tup
Oct 2019
6:28pm, 4 Oct 2019
34,580 posts
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Derby Tup
Removed by moderator? ;-)
daz1927
daz1927
Oct 2019
6:30pm, 4 Oct 2019
5,607 posts
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daz1927
Now back to business:

I’m not saying my wife used to be easy, but before I met her the only thing she ever used for protection during sex was a bus shelter.

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