Joke of the day........

1 lurker | 504 watchers
May 2018
12:35pm, 12 May 2018
1,316 posts
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TomahawkMike
My doctor advised me to include some low-impact exercise in my training plan. So now every morning I do 10 diddly-squats.
May 2018
5:26am, 14 May 2018
12,477 posts
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Jock Itch
What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?

An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.
May 2018
7:55am, 14 May 2018
8,671 posts
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The Terminator
What do you get if you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
May 2018
10:13am, 14 May 2018
2,511 posts
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FergusG
I've just found out that my new girlfriend has a thousand bees.

I think she's a keeper.
May 2018
8:55pm, 15 May 2018
12,482 posts
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Jock Itch
Prince Harry says he doesn’t want the traditional fruit cake at his wedding.

Prince Phillip says he doesn't give a fuck, he's still going!
May 2018
3:55am, 16 May 2018
203 posts
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Brandon
Marriage is like a pack of cards. You start off with hearts and diamonds but end up wanting a club and a spade
:)
May 2018
10:39am, 16 May 2018
371 posts
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Mountkeen
So, apparently Meghan Markle’s father will not attend the Royal Wedding.

That's ok though, neither will Harry's.
May 2018
10:43am, 16 May 2018
5,552 posts
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Iron Thigh Girl
[I did chortle at that, Mountkeen.]
May 2018
2:53pm, 16 May 2018
28,760 posts
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HappyG(rrr)
[Somebody missed the rest of the elephants in the fridge joke]

How do you get four elephants in a mini?
Two in the front, two in the back.

How can you tell if there's an elephant in your fridge?
Footprints in the butter.

How can you tell if there are two elephants in your fridge?
Two sets of footprints in the butter.

How can you tell if there are three elephants in your fridge?
You can't get the door shut.

How can you tell if there are four elephants in your fridge?
There's a mini parked outside.
May 2018
4:37pm, 16 May 2018
2,226 posts
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Robbo62
Joe Hart didn't make the England squad, apparently the keepers selected were Head and Shoulders better than him.

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