Oct 2023
6:43am, 20 Oct 2023
6,705 posts
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Little Miss Happy
No Irish connection! Fortunately husband has (just this morning) emailed his mum to say that he doesn't want that to be his last memory of his dad.
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Oct 2023
6:52am, 20 Oct 2023
47,954 posts
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EvilPixie
Good news LMH
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Oct 2023
7:21am, 20 Oct 2023
5,707 posts
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icemaiden
I think there's a difference between being with someone as they die or shortly after and having to make a visit to a funeral home or other location to view a body. And everyone will have their own response to both scenarios. Doing what is right for you, rather than what others, whoever they may be, is very important.
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Oct 2023
7:23am, 20 Oct 2023
71,776 posts
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Lip Gloss
That was exactly my thought IM when I went to my mum in hospital rather than the funeral home.
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Oct 2023
7:30am, 20 Oct 2023
17,524 posts
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Mandymoo
I went to see my dad many years ago and it wasn't nice so vowed I would never go and see anyone else
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Oct 2023
7:49am, 20 Oct 2023
64,603 posts
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LindsD
I agree im
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Oct 2023
7:58am, 20 Oct 2023
4,445 posts
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jabberknit
I went with Mum to see Dad. Part her Irish Catholic background tradition, part fairly usual practice for that generation, place and time. Didn't find it awful or unpleasant, just very, very sad, and strangely helpful to Mum's grieving process, I think. Possibly mine, too.
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Oct 2023
2:01pm, 20 Oct 2023
39,480 posts
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Mrs Jigs (Luverlylegs)
I think there's a difference between being with someone as they die or shortly after and having to make a visit to a funeral home or other location to view a body. And everyone will have their own response to both scenarios. Doing what is right for you, rather than what others, whoever they may be, is very important.
I agree.
My dad passed away suddenly and unexpectedly so I didn’t get chance to see him, I did go to see him in the funeral home and was glad to be able to, I think it helped me.
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Oct 2023
2:10pm, 20 Oct 2023
25,766 posts
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Bazoaxe
Has anyone experience of asking a GP to make an assessment of capacity to make decisions in relation to a PoA?
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Oct 2023
3:00pm, 20 Oct 2023
15,654 posts
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jda
No, my experience is that such formal assessment rarely happens, it's more a matter of people making their own judgments. No-one ever provided such a ruling on my dad, and my wife is having all sorts of personal and medical discussions with various professionals relating to her dad (who isn't yet as far gone as my dad was).
But if you are in the situation of trying to force something on your MiL against her wishes (eg care home?), it's more difficult. In our cases what we've done has been achieved by a sort of soft bullying (where necessary) rather than legal force. Which doesn't feel great but there isn't really a better option. As per the formal system I think it needs 2 GPs (or similar).
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