Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

2 lurkers | 140 watchers

LindsD Oct 2023 2:31pm, 19 Oct 2023 64,582 posts	0 LindsD She's gone to bed for a bit.
icemaiden Oct 2023 2:44pm, 19 Oct 2023 5,706 posts	0 icemaiden Patience is indeed a finite virtue. My OH comes back from interactions with his ps to say that he has used up all his for the day. Well done LindsD.
EvilPixie Oct 2023 2:48pm, 19 Oct 2023 47,939 posts	0 EvilPixie I know my visits to mum are infrequent and short because it's draining Mr pix hates visiting so hardly ever does
HappyG(rrr) Oct 2023 3:19pm, 19 Oct 2023 48,180 posts	0 HappyG(rrr) My mum sounds like an angel in comparison! I used to get really narked at her but as she gets more feeble, thunk I'm getting a bit more sympathetic. But she has also actually become much more accepting of her position and less trenchant in her opinions. So I think I've prob got it pretty easy. Strength to those finding the olds hard. G
EvilPixie Oct 2023 3:23pm, 19 Oct 2023 47,941 posts	0 EvilPixie I really don't trust/believe mum now She says she is so bad but won't speak to anyone - which just makes me think she is after a reaction. Problem is it's a bit like the boy who cried wolf .... if she keeps it up how will I know when it's genuine?
LindsD Oct 2023 3:24pm, 19 Oct 2023 64,583 posts	0 LindsD Thank you all. That helps.
EvilPixie Oct 2023 3:27pm, 19 Oct 2023 47,942 posts	0 EvilPixie this thread really does help as it makes you realise that you aren't alone or nasty and horrid and that it's OK to have the feelings that you have
LindsD Oct 2023 3:32pm, 19 Oct 2023 64,584 posts	0 LindsD Exactly
Little Miss Happy Oct 2023 5:03pm, 19 Oct 2023 6,703 posts	0 Little Miss Happy I feel your pain Linds. MiL seems to be applying pressure on us to go and see FiL in the funeral home on Friday. I do not understand why she would think we should do that. I also do not understand why BiL and nSiL are travelling down to do so when they were actually with him? Is this a being seen to do the right thing thing? Thinking it's expected (if so, by who)? I really don't get it. I would not want that to be the last memory of him that I had.
LindsD Oct 2023 5:13pm, 19 Oct 2023 64,586 posts	0 LindsD Thank you. I understand the pressure that you are under too and hope you can resist. FiL certainly won't have a view.

About This Thread

Maintained by LindsD

I thought I'd start a thread, as lots of us have elderly folks that we worry about/care for.

Useful info for after someone dies here (with thanks to grast_girl)
moneysavingexpert.com

Other useful links

myageingparent.com

moneysavingexpert.com

Who pays for residential care? Information here:

ageuk.org.uk

Advice on care homes and payment/funding

theguardian.com

Also: After someone dies, if their home insurance was only in their name, sadly the cover becomes void. But if the policy was in joint names, it will still cover the surviving policyholder (though the names on the policy will need to be updated).

A useful book of exercises for memory loss and dementia
amazon.co.uk

Pension Credit. The rules are a bit complex but if your elderly relative has some sort of disability (in this case dementia/Alzheimer's) and go into a home, they may be able to claim pension credit. So if carers allowance stops, it seems pension credit can start. It can also be backdated.

Fall alarm company, etc.

careium.co.uk

Useful Links

FE accepts no responsibility for external links. Or anything, really.

Alarm company

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Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

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