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Oct 2023
4:47pm, 20 Oct 2023
2,197 posts
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poppyH
*decision specific
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Oct 2023
4:53pm, 20 Oct 2023
25,770 posts
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Bazoaxe
Lol, i thought i was being stupid and was going to have to google what you meant
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Oct 2023
4:56pm, 20 Oct 2023
2,198 posts
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poppyH
Nah. My fat fingers š
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Oct 2023
7:40pm, 20 Oct 2023
47,984 posts
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EvilPixie
Spoken to mum
She was given a cancellation appointment to see the heart consultant who wants to (she started muttering at this point and facing the other way making it really hard to hear) have a 48 hr heart monitor and I thought she said do some more tests but later in the conversation she denied this
She also couldnāt say when the 48 hr monitor would be or indeed anything else
Her friend has just had heart surgery (apparently she didnāt know what) and I think thatās shaken her a bit
She was visibly a lot more breathless today but changed the subject when I mentioned it
I said I would come down if she wanted etc and was told no need
Hopefully the consultant will give her some answers even if I donāt get to hear them.
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Oct 2023
9:08pm, 20 Oct 2023
319 posts
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kaysdee
OH was placed into emergency respite on Tuesday in what felt like completely out of the blue. Well, it was out of the blueā¦ I got a call near to close of play on Monday from a safeguarding team and he was in respite by Tuesday afternoon (electrical item + water was the straw that broke the camelās back, added to him not coping functionally on his own while weāre all out and having a woeful care package).
Social services came out on the Tuesday morning to do a capacity assessment and to gain his consent to going, as nothing would have happened if heād said no. She deemed him as lacking capacity due to one out of four criteria. It has been a really hard week and naturally heās struggling with being there, even more confused currently. Major mood swings every time I talk to him, which is understandable.
It didnāt help that I was the one who had to tell him what was going to happen (he does still have awareness of his dementia and the general situation and I felt it was completely unfair on him to spring it on him the next morning if Iād said nothing). Iād also been distracted dealing with our eldest son who is disabled and had to take him to hospital literally the moment I got back from work around 6pm. S19ās carer was able to relieve me for a bit while I talked to OH (this hospital is only a 5 minute walk from home) but then I had to leave OH again.
I got back with S19 just before midnight and I then had to have the same conversation with our youngest two as they needed to know their dad wouldnāt be there the next day when they got back from college/uni and had to say goodbye the next morning. It was horrendous. Despite them both saying they were fine (relieved) with the thought of the idea of extra housing when it was raised a few weeks ago, it obviously wasnāt a ārealā concept, and they were much more affected than they anticipated.
Because our lives have had to just go on, with their education and me going to work, there has been no time to really process anything. Iāve been told there will be a planning meeting in early November to see how things are going and to work out a plan for future care/living arrangements.
As I was leaving for work on Wednesday, I overheard S19 say to his carer āmy dad is gone, I miss himā ā¹ļø
Dementia is cruel beyond belief.
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Oct 2023
9:23pm, 20 Oct 2023
47,987 posts
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EvilPixie
Omg I am so sorry that must be so hard
Rant here as much as you need xx
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Oct 2023
9:26pm, 20 Oct 2023
71,794 posts
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Lip Gloss
Oh what a lot to deal with at once  . Do remember to breathe xx
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Oct 2023
9:45pm, 20 Oct 2023
22,388 posts
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3M
So sorry to read all that, Kaysdee. It sounds really hard, and very cruel for you to have to be the "grown up" in the situation. I hope the situation improves for all of you.
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Oct 2023
9:51pm, 20 Oct 2023
2,199 posts
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poppyH
Oh kaysdee. It's a bastard disease.
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Oct 2023
10:12pm, 20 Oct 2023
17,535 posts
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Mandymoo
Oh Kaysdee so much for you all xxx
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