Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

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Bazoaxe
Bazoaxe
Sep 2023
6:39pm, 25 Sep 2023
25,643 posts
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Bazoaxe
mil would change the PoA if she could. I just dont want Mrs Axe or I to have any part to play in that and she has to do so herself.

Anyway, we had a lovely day today but MiL looked worn out and so we put her off to bed. BiL had delivered the medication at some point yesterday afternoon/evening, but not so much as a card for his Mum.
Lizzie Whizz
Lizzie Whizz
Sep 2023
7:33pm, 25 Sep 2023
28,036 posts
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Lizzie Whizz
My first ever ambulance ride down to the Other Hospital where the relevant Surgeon lives. It's fairly sure to be what we assumed from the start which is going to be tough.
EvilPixie
EvilPixie
Sep 2023
7:34pm, 25 Sep 2023
47,172 posts
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EvilPixie
Hugs LW
Take care
Ness
Ness
Sep 2023
7:55pm, 25 Sep 2023
34,658 posts
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Ness
Hugs, LW.
Lip Gloss
Lip Gloss
Sep 2023
8:53pm, 25 Sep 2023
71,426 posts
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Lip Gloss
Big hugs LW. Remember we are here for you x
Mandymoo
Mandymoo
Sep 2023
9:09pm, 25 Sep 2023
17,413 posts
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Mandymoo
Hugs LW xx
CK2
CK2
Sep 2023
11:20pm, 25 Sep 2023
2,282 posts
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CK2
That’s tough LW. I hope it goes as smoothly as possible.
Serendippily
Serendippily
Sep 2023
11:57pm, 25 Sep 2023
29,140 posts
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Serendippily
Sending love Lizzie
Little Miss Happy
Little Miss Happy
Sep 2023
9:31am, 26 Sep 2023
6,670 posts
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Little Miss Happy
I hope she’s comfortable Lizzie.

Sounds like a very difficult situation Baz.
Lizzie Whizz
Lizzie Whizz
Sep 2023
7:12am, 28 Sep 2023
28,045 posts
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Lizzie Whizz
Head dump apologies for any triggers
I think I'm looking for a book or list of "what to do before someone has risky surgery without being too pessimistic" rather than "what to do when someone dies" book. I'm thinking about little phone calls with family (hospital unit is not great for visiting and most close family is abroad). I think all her admin info (passwords etc) are written down somewhere safe. Feels wrong to even be thinking about. I will talk to my aunt today who knows about things, but she is in Norway.

So we are not much progressed: Mum is in hospital, out of A&E but not on a surgical ward as no beds. Definitely obstructed, they're not sure why, for discussion with surgeons today, almost certainly excision of part of bowel & stoma.
Not looking for sympathy just an objective space.

Talking to Dad yesterday I realised he hasn't had the imagination to realise how bad she is, so he's a bit shocked. Their church is great & people are rallying round, so I know he's OK, very grateful.

About This Thread

Maintained by LindsD
I thought I'd start a thread, as lots of us have elderly folks that we worry about/care for.

Useful info for after someone dies here (with thanks to grast_girl)
moneysavingexpert.com

Other useful links

myageingparent.com

moneysavingexpert.com

Who pays for residential care? Information here:

ageuk.org.uk

Advice on care homes and payment/funding

theguardian.com

Also: After someone dies, if their home insurance was only in their name, sadly the cover becomes void. But if the policy was in joint names, it will still cover the surviving policyholder (though the names on the policy will need to be updated).

A useful book of exercises for memory loss and dementia
amazon.co.uk

Pension Credit. The rules are a bit complex but if your elderly relative has some sort of disability (in this case dementia/Alzheimer's) and go into a home, they may be able to claim pension credit. So if carers allowance stops, it seems pension credit can start. It can also be backdated.

Fall alarm company, etc.

careium.co.uk

Useful Links

FE accepts no responsibility for external links. Or anything, really.

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