|
Jun 2021
11:48pm, 1 Jun 2021
845 posts
|
CK2
Care facilities and support does seem very variable across the country. We’re about to explore care assistance for my dad so will see how it is in the South of England! You do seem to be stuck in a tough place WP. I hope you get some success from the GP/social worker.
|
|
Jun 2021
6:43am, 2 Jun 2021
4,587 posts
|
Little Miss Happy
WP - I think we were fortunate because FiL went from just about being manageable at home (though locked in by MiL) to being a danger to himself and others in a very short space of time. Once sectioned the scenario changes. Our GP surgery had a care co-ordinator who helped MiL access support and the GPs were great - makes such a difference. It sounds to me that your dad should have his own social worker, he needs someone to advocate for him rather than someone with your mum's best interests at the centre of their decisions if you see what I mean? Please unload here or by fmail as much as you want - it was an incredibly stressful time for me and they were four minutes walk away!
|
|
Jun 2021
7:55am, 2 Jun 2021
212 posts
|
kaysdee
WP = yes, they are being failed. It sounds unbelievably stressful and most people wouldn’t be able to comprehend that these things are allowed to happen, but they are, so I’m so sorry you’re under this stress. The anxiety must be unbearable.
I straddle both paediatric and elderly, sort of. My S17 has severe physical and learning disabilities and as he is transitioning into adult care, is falling through the gaps. He needs carer support while I work, and it is funded, but his social worker keeps saying it’ll be easier to find someone once he’s an adult = still 6 months away! He needs this now.
My husband is at home full time but has dementia, although young onset, so not actually elderly care. He doesn’t need help for himself yet, but he cannot reliably care for our son on his own and during times like school holidays (now!) I am filled with dread. They’re not unsafe, but my son cannot do anything for himself and I’m constantly on the phone reminding OH to feed S, etc.
You might have already tried them, but Admiral Nurses provide support for carers and might be able to point you in the right direction for dementia care. I tried to add a link but can’t see how on my iPad and it’s too long to paste, but just Google.
I agree, your dad should have his own needs assessment, but the system is broken and is letting your family down terribly. I just wanted to say that as I know what it’s like to feel crazy and not understand why no one is helping.
|
|
Jun 2021
8:10am, 2 Jun 2021
9,474 posts
|
leaguefreak
Sorry so many are having a tough time.
My mum is in hospital. Water infection and high blood sugar. As there is no visiting my family persuaded me to go away with Mr LF and the kids as planned. In truth I'm able to do as much from the holiday cottage as I could from home and I'm getting a rest in before she's discharged. We've got both cars with us so I can leave if needs be.
|
|
Jun 2021
8:30am, 2 Jun 2021
14,779 posts
|
geordiegirl
I am fortunate that I don’t have such worries about any of our parents but I’ve popped by from time to time on relatives. I have just popped by to see how everyone is and just want to send hugs to the many of you who are struggling with parents and such stressful situations.
From others I know care system does seem very hit and miss and that is incredibly hard for all concerned.
Sending hugs and strength to all of you and WP hope you get a favourable response soon for your parents that indeed sounds urgent.
|
|
Jun 2021
10:07am, 2 Jun 2021
47,442 posts
|
LindsD
lf that sounds stressful. I hope you are able to relax a bit.
|
|
Jun 2021
4:12pm, 2 Jun 2021
33,539 posts
|
LazyDaisy
The care system is neither caring nor a system, it seems to me. I don't blame any paid carers who are stretched to breaking point with far too little time to do what they're expected to do, and for pay many politicians and bureaucrats wouldn't get out of bed for, and certainly not families who bear the huge burden of care and worry. But I do think those politicians and bureaucrats need to experience some of what is discussed on this thread to understand what it's really like.
|
|
Jun 2021
4:25pm, 2 Jun 2021
11,936 posts
|
Mandymoo
Totally agree Daisy
|
|
Jun 2021
5:28pm, 2 Jun 2021
4,588 posts
|
Little Miss Happy
I hope that you can still enjoy your time away lf.
I can't imagine the stress of what you deal with every day kaysdee. Hope you can get some care in place soon.
|
|
Jun 2021
7:59pm, 2 Jun 2021
9,475 posts
|
leaguefreak
Well the trip is going very well. I'm not sure what we do tomorrow. Mum may be discharged but they can't say for sure. I'm 4-5 hours away. My cousin is having a flare of his chronic pain and can't drive
|
The Sandwich Generation - Aged Ps and children to care for?
Jun 2023
