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Jun 2022
11:09pm, 25 Jun 2022
90,471 posts
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Hanneke
My neighbours exercise more devious ways than yours RF. Not as openly and physically agressive. They exercise coercive control, gaslighting, they bully...
Yes, I know there is legislation to protect me but it will only make things worse, not go away, for me, not them! So I have been trying the passive approach which does seem to be mostly working. This week's issue has pointed out to me though that I mustn't get complacent and keep my guards up. What really helps me channel the negativity is loving kindness meditation focussed on them.
I will start that again tomorrow.
Also, my friend today suggested painting the tops of my fence posts with anti-climbing paint so when they next climb over, they get a handful! Oops!
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Jun 2022
11:34pm, 25 Jun 2022
5,050 posts
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run free
You are right h. Directing loving kindness is far better.
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Jun 2022
11:42pm, 25 Jun 2022
90,478 posts
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Hanneke
I did a lot of thinking since Tuesday and I am definitely not moving!!!
So I need to deflect their negativity.
Best way is to deflect it and neutralise it with positivity.
When they were full on, I had the "They do something nasty, I do something nice" approach. Which is how I got my gorgeous pond, a gorgeous olive tree in a pot, my lovely standing stone artist carved name sign, my pergola, my chestnut paling fencing, more roses. She hates roses, as soon as I knew that, I planted more, I LOVE them. Also, they make great medicine and are super for taking a stressy, negative edge off things. A great heart holding herb. They are literally protecting my front area by the house and building. And lifting the spirits of all that pass. The scent is out of this world.
All these things enhance my world and at the same time, send her into a frustrated frenzy because I am not responding in a typical way...
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Jun 2022
11:46pm, 25 Jun 2022
90,479 posts
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Hanneke
Today, I bought a lovely Black Tourmaline necklace... It neutralises negativity and protects you from it.
I have been relaxed ever since and had a really deep, restorative, two hour nap earlier.
They do something nasty, I do something nice!
No matter how much she hates my "offensive mess" I am not cutting it! She is the only one who hates it!
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Jun 2022
12:23pm, 26 Jun 2022
90,495 posts
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Hanneke
Update:
I was making coffee and saw a group of people pouring over my wildflowers so I went out and gave them a guided tour!
I hope Nasty Neighbour saw this!
All this appreciation of what I do gave me a good, positive perk!
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Jun 2022
1:18pm, 26 Jun 2022
5,051 posts
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run free
That is brill H and you would have inspired them as well 
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Jun 2022
2:47pm, 26 Jun 2022
90,496 posts
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Hanneke
Definitely! They even said they were inspired!
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Jun 2022
2:48pm, 26 Jun 2022
90,497 posts
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Hanneke
Wouldn't it be brilliant if more people in the village started doing this? There is one more so far... Others just cut the grass short...
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Jun 2022
10:16am, 27 Jun 2022
2,664 posts
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cackleberry
In support of your efforts, a house in one of our local villages here has replaced a fence with a hedge (or the other way around) but they must have seeded the small bank from their garden to the road. This week it is a mass of ox eye daisies and cornflowers. It look absolutely stunning!
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Jun 2022
10:31am, 27 Jun 2022
42,743 posts
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HappyG(rrr)
I still cut our lawn, and even chop down the grass in the "orchard" bit. But we have lots (acres!) of wilderness, so I really don't think having a bit of lawn and flower beds around the house is too much to sacrifice! Well done to all those who are re-wilding their gardens though.  G
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