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Jan 2012
1:45pm, 4 Jan 2012
5,616 posts
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McGoohan
I have two boys: 16 and 13 (actually he's 13 tomorrow) and, thinking about it for a mo', they are two splendid people really. I accept (or hope I do) that there might be troubled times ahead, but so far, so good.
Vrap's comment on an earlier page about not coming down so hard on em for the small stuff rings very true: it's a skill I need to hone. It's too too easy to be critical of em sometimes. I was far from perfect at that age. Arrogant little bugger as I recall.
By contrast my sisters - who are 10 years younger than me - were pretty much delinquent from the ages of about 14 to 21. One ran off with a bloke from the fairground and my dad had to go driving off to find her. And that was before they discovered alcohol...
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Jan 2012
9:28pm, 7 Jan 2012
1,729 posts
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Clueless
There is a really interesting article in the G2 supplement of the Guardian today. Page 23.
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Jan 2012
1:08pm, 10 Jan 2012
39 posts
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Autumnleaves
Hoping a lesson has been learnt this morning - daughter not ready when lift arrived so they went without her. Gave her a bit of a jolt I think. I was planning to take her in late when I dropped son off after a dentist's appointment, but relented and took her most of the way so she wouldn't be late or miss favourite lesson, for which she thanked me very nicely.
On different point - son coped manfully with having braces fitted until back in the car - nothing more heart-breaking than a a boy of 14 trying hard not to cry!
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Jan 2012
2:21pm, 10 Jan 2012
3,564 posts
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Trin
Aww bless him, I know that one... my daughter had braces, had to have two perfectly healthy teeth out and everything. You do feel for them don't you
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Jan 2012
3:14pm, 10 Jan 2012
5,398 posts
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Chicken Licken
Just found this thread! After nearly packing my sons bags yesterday and informing his Dad that may be he goes and has a few days there! His Dad for once has backed me up and supported me, that's a bit of a key too, support, I am pretty much a single parent, My ex really does little parenting and I have found this incredibly hard at times.
My son, is 16, and wow! does he test me.... I have learned in some respects to just smile and let the smaller things not upset me, but there are times when he is *so* selfish I could cry. But the boundaries need to be set and NEED to be stuck to! This is also true of my boundaries to respect him growing up, to be quite honest, I would not wish to be a teenager again! No way!!
There are also other times when things are not so bad! He has the most wicked sense of humour, and fun.
My daughter now 21, I was fully prepared for her teenage years, but they kind of slid her by, she was always so well behaved, always did her studies, her room was tidy.... She never smoked, and I have never had a convestation with her about how disapointed I was in her behaviour. She has been and continues to be a delight.
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Jan 2012
3:24pm, 10 Jan 2012
3,565 posts
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Trin
Yep, similar experience... my eldest son, also 21 was pretty much ok throughout his teen years. Certainly nothing compared to what I'm going through with daughter and youngest son. But also like yours... my youngest has a wicked sense of humour and fun.
I'm enjoying calm waters at the moment... though I know it won't last 
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Jan 2012
3:26pm, 10 Jan 2012
1,949 posts
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Robbo62
my eldest son is nearly 17 and was born a grumpy old man, my daughter is 15 and generally very good but when she gets a strop on the whole street knows about it, ny youngest boy is 13 and is the most trying of all. none of them seem to want to get along together and sometimes the things they say make me think that if i had said that my Father would have killed me. Anyone who watched john Bishops DVD will know exactly what he means about children.
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Jan 2012
5:41pm, 10 Jan 2012
69 posts
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Mizzy
Just come back to this thread after finding it a short while ago and never getting back.
CL i think the last time i was here i wanted to do the same with my eldest who is 17. He's a lovely lad in many ways, just idle and expects everything to be done for him and snaps at me when i get cross about it. I too feel like a single parent at times even though my 4 sons see their dad on a Sunday afternoon/evening. It's me who does all the running about, parents evening, school matters, friend matters etc.
In fact my said son was assaulted when walking with 2 friends on Saturday evening, around 7.15pm. There were about 10 of these other lads and my son has a broken collar bone because of it. The first i knew was when i had a phone call from the police saying they were at the local hospital with him and would i like to go and sit with him whilst waiting for x-rays etc. He hates confrontation after being bullied at primary school so they had tried to run away but these other lads caught them. They just don't realise the wider consequences of their acts of pure idiocy - my son had 2 important A level exams coming up Thursday & Friday this week and he's having to withdraw because he can't sit an exam and a scribe for Chemistry and Physics would probably be a difficult call. His dad didn't come to the hospital - if the shoe was on the other foot wild horses wouldn't have kept me away!
He hasn't been into school this week and is quite withdrawn at the moment which i guess shouldn't be a surprise. As i said earlier he's idle enough as it is. I love him dearly but he drives me nuts at times. There wouldn't really be an option of him staying with his dad because his girlfriend doesn't like our lads so they aren't welcome in the house when she's there. But perhaps that's for a different thread, although it does make life difficult at times, dealing with 4 young men without any help.
Moan over...
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Jan 2012
6:31pm, 10 Jan 2012
5,399 posts
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Chicken Licken
Mizzy! That's shocking.... I dont understand! You have children together, their well being and upbringing should be your main concern!
Mini chick sees his dad roughly once or twice a month... He stayed. With him 3 times last year overnight. One one occasion dad was texting me, saying he could not cope with mini chick.
Hope your son can do his A levels and get the results he needs! Did they catch the other lads??
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Jan 2012
6:48pm, 10 Jan 2012
72 posts
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Mizzy
My boys have only stayed with their dad overnight once in the past 2 and a half-years (and that was because his GF was away). If i want a break my parents in their 70s now come and stay. He'll turn up one weekend and say he's going away the following so won't be seeing the boys yet i can't say, i'm going out for a day (that isn't a Sunday) so can he have them. He collects them at about 11.30am so waiting for him to collect means it can be too late to go out far for a day. He's had holidays abroad with the GF and her kids and hasn't even taken a day off work in school holidays to spend with his own. And similar, he doesn't know how to handle them really, has dumped one or two back on the doorstep when he can't "control" them! But as i say, i don't want to turn this into a rant
The buck stops with me for most things though. We are hopeful the police will track them down as some were recognised by my lad's 2 friends from their school. He wasn't near to us, he was going back for an Xbox evening at one of the other's houses and they live the other side of town. He is probably withdrawing this time round and will sit the exams in May/June season, but then he'll have other exams to do too. I suppose there is never a good time for it to happen...
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