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Sep 2019
9:07am, 25 Sep 2019
43,261 posts
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Velociraptor
Hugs to Linds xxx
No advice apart from, "Do not allow anyone to get away with suggesting that you are part of the problem." Being the parent of a teen going through a troubled time is hideous. And if you haven't already, counselling for yourself may be worthwhile.
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Sep 2019
9:18am, 25 Sep 2019
29,605 posts
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LindsD
Thanks. OH is looking into family therapy, which the rational part of me thinks is a good idea but the scared and upset part sees as him saying I'm part of the problem. I think school think that I should just take away her privileges and she will fall into line. Counselling for me sounds wonderful. Not sure I have the energy to organise it. Will try.
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Sep 2019
9:27am, 25 Sep 2019
10,536 posts
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MazH
keep talking to us Linds... won't hurt, and we have some clever cookies here.
not me, but i do a mean hug.
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Sep 2019
9:30am, 25 Sep 2019
14,154 posts
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Serendippily
Yes I am thinking of TeeBee comment about inner and outer circles again. And how sometimes you just can’t be the person that helps and that is no shortcoming, it is how it is. There are other occasions when you will be exactly right. But it sounds such a storm you are having to weather xx
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Sep 2019
9:30am, 25 Sep 2019
14,155 posts
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Serendippily
And school are just complete arses
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Sep 2019
9:32am, 25 Sep 2019
6,223 posts
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WA
((((Linds)))) Can you access anything through your work?/occupational health?
As expected, SweetPea is not able to have any further face to face support without another referral (and presumably another 8/9 month wait). Since being discharged, the local CAMHS have set up an online support group where they post reminders about techniques etc. She can also access an online counsellor for specific problems. We had a look at it together and she thinks it will be useful. Fingers crossed
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Sep 2019
9:33am, 25 Sep 2019
14,156 posts
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Serendippily
They are trying to encourage you to make more and more things into a battleground and I just can’t see how that helps
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Sep 2019
9:34am, 25 Sep 2019
29,606 posts
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LindsD
Fingers crossed WA.
We have some kind of telephone support. I will investigate.
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Sep 2019
9:48am, 25 Sep 2019
43,264 posts
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Velociraptor
I agree with Dipps. Removing privileges may work with a preschooler but it's neither helpful nor practical with a teen, and the uncertainty of knowing that a privilege or promised treat could be taken away could drive further conflict and unwanted behaviour.
We had positive and negative experiences with schools over the years. When Fellmouse became very unwell with a starving-herself condition that allegedly wasn't anorexia nervosa (though it looked like it at the time and she still restricts her food intake when she's stressed) her school couldn't have been more supportive, and it was such a relief that handling the school wasn't another source of stress.
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Sep 2019
10:04am, 25 Sep 2019
14,157 posts
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Serendippily
My comments are probably influenced by the fact that when I was having troubles with mrS talking to him made it worse. Usually he is the best person to talk to so that made it even worse and sent me into more of a spiral. So I no longer think talking with people is always the best solution. And we could then talk about it after, once the storm was passed. I know that isn’t always the right path
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Assisting teens in choosing university for 2021 during a pandemic
Nov 2020
