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Support thread for parents of teenagers

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Queen of Cups Aug 2019 6:24pm, 28 Aug 2019 269 posts	0 Queen of Cups The teen made a big effort today for his first driving lesson which is odd given it's a middle aged chap called Dave. Not a spot in sight! I think the reality of being an adult was suddenly impressed upon him! Have made a GP appointment.
halfpint Aug 2019 10:37pm, 28 Aug 2019 28,749 posts	0 halfpint Happy to report college induction went well. It was all very laid back apparently. He’s not at all nervous about his first proper day next week, which involves climbing. He was more concerned about a run in with a group of 4 elderly people in our village, who told him off for ‘nearly knocking them into the road’ when in fact they were walking 4 abreast and he had to step into the road to avoid them. He called them out and they swore at him, so he swore back. I particularly liked his description of the main offender who was ‘short and bald, a bit like Danny Devito’.
swittle Aug 2019 10:38pm, 28 Aug 2019 56,516 posts	0 swittle Shouldn't laugh...but did. ^
Carpathius Sep 2019 10:37am, 9 Sep 2019 17,607 posts	0 Carpathius Will read back, but could do with some advice right now. T1 has suffered from severe anxiety about sleeping away from home since she was seven. Going to uni last year was manageable for her. She was fine when she went to America in the summer. Brought her back Saturday, and she had panic attacks all Sat night and spent Sunday in a horribly anxious state. Her new house which she was looking forward to is half empty (nine of them sharing, three currently there until the weekend). I slept in her room last night which she said helped. I offered to stay a few more nights to help her settle. I have placement starting tomorrow but can work around that. I'd miss two shifts which can be made up later. Mr Carp is annoyed and thinks that I am avoiding placement because I'm nervous (actually don't think I am avoiding but am undeniably nervous.) He thinks T1 needs to plough through. I don't know, but made the offer because it might help if she has a few good nights before being alone plus more people would be about including ones she's closer to. It's up to T1 really but I think she's worried that if she says stay, it'll cause problems for me and her dad will be cross. I don't want to stay if it'll just be the same for her when I go.
Rosehip Sep 2019 11:12am, 9 Sep 2019 13,490 posts	0 Rosehip Carp, does she have any understanding of what was different last year that meant she managed? Seems like there could maybe be another trigger that has kicked in that wasn't there going to Amerca, for instance.
Carpathius Sep 2019 11:43am, 9 Sep 2019 17,609 posts	0 Carpathius She doesn't. It took her by surprise. She's speculating that it could be because last year she was moving in with everyone else, not first, and was surrounded by people and stuff to do from the off as she moved in in Freshers' Week. This time she's back early due to cheerleading training - Freshers is next week and classes don't start until the week after, and most housemates aren't in until the weekend.
LindsD Sep 2019 12:21pm, 9 Sep 2019 29,342 posts	0 LindsD Could be, in which case you staying might be the thing she needs. Has she accessed any support services at the university? There is probably someone she can go to talk about it, which might help. (I know I always say this). Universities are super-concerned with student retention, so from that point alone it would be a priority for them, if they knew, to make sure she was OK to stay.
Meglet Sep 2019 12:36pm, 9 Sep 2019 20,527 posts	0 Meglet Stating in a strange house on your own is unsettling. Could she stay with a cheerleading mate until her housemates arrive?
Rosehip Sep 2019 1:32pm, 9 Sep 2019 13,491 posts	0 Rosehip that sounds like a good idea Meglet - or have mates stay with her if the house isn't full?
Carpathius Sep 2019 2:26pm, 9 Sep 2019 17,610 posts	0 Carpathius The cheer lot aren't that close. I'll suggest it though, good idea, but suspect she won't ask.or they'll be too far away.