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Feb 2012
1:47pm, 9 Feb 2012
3,615 posts
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Trin
When they stopped the EMA thing his dad set up a regular payment to go into his account so he had the same benefits as his older brother and sister had.
But the thing with the EMA was that if you didn't attend your money got stopped. I've had to keep reminding his dad of this.
Plus our son doesn't use it for the purpose of what the EMA was far... educational related materials
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Feb 2012
1:53pm, 9 Feb 2012
3,616 posts
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Trin
Good point Jen... wood and trees and all that.
When we did sit down to talk about this I did try to get him to tell me what he wanted, but he just sat there with a brick wall around him. It was incredibly frustrating so I gave up.
He really won't talk to me at all at the moment, but I know he's dead set on going to Filton college
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Feb 2012
1:54pm, 9 Feb 2012
2,673 posts
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Wine Legs
So, who or what pays for anything education related?
Could you get one of his siblings to talk to him?
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Feb 2012
2:00pm, 9 Feb 2012
3,066 posts
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Shin-Twigs
Trin, you have my sympathies, I have been in a very similar situation to you. Son ended up changing his subjects and staying on an extra year at school. He seems much happier now he is doing subjects he is interested in.
Thanks for all the advice re travel people, we have discussed, he is looking at travel options and OH is going to have a web discussion with parents this evening. Time to cut the apron strings I guess !.
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Feb 2012
2:01pm, 9 Feb 2012
3,618 posts
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Trin
I bought all he needed at the start of the academic year but he's not bought anything since that I know of... probably because he hasn't felt he needed it with not going to lessons.
Both of his siblings has tried to talk to him. His elder brother gave him help with his maths but to no avail.
I have been emailing my eldest recently because he's helping me with my new website (to be launched in May  ) and have also been telling him what's been going on here. He sent me a lovely email yesterday which almost made me cry.
After writing about the website stuff he ended the email with this...
"Smoking! Well that's no good at all. I don't know how he could afford it anyway! I don't know. Between you and me, from having known a lot of people who go off the rails drop out etc (though I'm sure you have too), there's only so much anyone else can do, even his family. It's got to come from him, and if it's not, then there's no one else who can do it for him.
Of course I expect that won't stop you trying! Let's hope he figures it out for himself eventually in any case!
Take care,
Love,
Steve xx"
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Feb 2012
8:28pm, 12 Feb 2012
3,073 posts
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Shin-Twigs
Hi guys, to update, the boy went off on the train to Aberdeen. the conditions of him going were a skype to parents, texts for each train change and a couple of texts a day to let me know how he's getting on.
He's having a great time and is sticking with the conditions. Thanks for your advice.
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Feb 2012
8:32pm, 12 Feb 2012
19,272 posts
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Velociraptor
Great news, Shin-Twigs
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Feb 2012
9:06pm, 12 Feb 2012
27,001 posts
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Toks
Fab news ST
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Feb 2012
5:00pm, 13 Feb 2012
7,370 posts
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runner duck
good news, st!
trin, my son behaved much the same as i think i've described on here already. i think, with the benefit of hindsight, i would let him leave if that's what he wants (apart from anything i'm pretty sure that they have to list any official exams he's taken if he does apply to uni one day and listing failures isn't impressive). but he has to get a job and his dad-funded ema stops) you may be right about him losing interest in the course at filton, but that's a risk you have to take. and he's very unlikely to want to move with you and leave his friends behind. i wouldn't worry about filton not asking about attendance, sixth form colleges are a lot more inclusive and willing to give everyone a go. i've experience with the local sixth form and new college in swindon and new college are actually very hot on attendance. we get emails when daughter doesn't turn up. and if she attends less than 90% of lessons she has to pay for her exams. it's really not easy, but he has to make his own decisions. you can only take a supporting role now. i know it's not easy - i'm still struggling with daughter and what she is/isn't doing - but they do have to find their own way and it's not necessarily the way we think is best for them.
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Feb 2012
3:13pm, 16 Feb 2012
5,078 posts
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mulbs
so, he's here and not going all that well to be honest. can't make out if he has mental health issues or his brain is just a bit scrambled from recent events (getting thrown out of his mum's and then evicted from college accommodation/drinking too much/smoking weed/taking mdma and m-kat), hard to put into writing his behaviour as he seems very good at being subversive and challenging whilst still saying thankyou etc. don't know if he honestly can't hold onto an instruction or if it's more a case of a subtle f*** you. just me and him in the house today and I feel like a prisoner in my own home.
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