Meaningless product descriptions

125 watchers

FergusG May 2017 1:40pm, 12 May 2017 1,256 posts	0 FergusG Brilliant Pebbles is a unique and comprehensive system for tuning the room and audio system based on special physical properties of highly symmetrical crystal structures. Brilliant Pebbles has been evolving since its introduction 6 years ago at the London HI Fi Show, especially the number of applications, many of which were discovered by our customers. Brilliant Pebbles addresses specific resonance control and RFI/EMI absorption problems associated with audio electronics, speakers and cables, as well as acoustic wave problems associated with the listening room boundaries and the 3-dimensional space within the boundaries. Brilliant Pebbles comprises a number of precious and semi-precious stones (crystals) selected for their effectiveness. The original glass bottles for Brilliant Pebbles have been replaced by clear zip lock bags, which have a more linear response than glass. We employ a number of highly-specialized, proprietary techniques in the preparation/assembly of Brilliant Pebbles to enhance the crystals' inherent characteristics. The fundamental operating principle of Brilliant Pebbles involves a number of atomic mechanisms in the crystals. Brilliant Pebbles will enhance the performance of your audio system so your favorite music and even your experience playing online fantasy games will become a mind blowing auditory experience. machinadynamica.com
Carpathius May 2017 3:14pm, 12 May 2017 11,776 posts	0 Carpathius Er, sorry, what? And as if that were not enough, they've decided the word 'micro' is too mainstream so have gone with 'mikro'.
GlennR May 2017 3:41pm, 12 May 2017 27,423 posts	0 GlennR I think that's the biggest pile of steaming shit I've ever had the misfortune to come across. I've seen more convincing explanations of homeopathy.
GregP May 2017 3:50pm, 12 May 2017 92,727 posts	0 GregP Zip lock bags have a more linear response than glass? Well I didn't know that.
Dvorak May 2017 7:06pm, 12 May 2017 13,594 posts	0 Dvorak Brilliant Pebbles. I've just stood up and applauded. Thank you Fergus for bringing that to the thread. Absolutely extraordinary.
Velociraptor May 2017 7:08pm, 12 May 2017 36,176 posts	0 Velociraptor That is magnificent
Fragile Do Not Bend May 2017 7:29pm, 12 May 2017 1,772 posts	0 Fragile Do Not Bend Have you seen the photo of what you are supposed to do with these things? Surely someone is just having a joke.
Silent Runner May 2017 5:39pm, 13 May 2017 218 posts	0 Silent Runner You lose 78 electrolytes when you exercise or compete. There are only two places you can replace these naturally, one is in plankton blooms in the middle of the ocean, and the other is a Totum Sport sachet. Makes me wonder how I've managed to survive for the past five decades...
Carpathius May 2017 6:00pm, 13 May 2017 11,780 posts	0 Carpathius makes note to have a swim in the ocean with my mouth open next time I compete
ChrisHB May 2017 6:06pm, 13 May 2017 14,842 posts	0 ChrisHB That is astounding in its brevity and presumption, Silent Runner.