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Dec 2020
1:27pm, 9 Dec 2020
15 posts
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DeadDullRacing
What's brown and sticky?
A stick
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Dec 2020
1:29pm, 9 Dec 2020
214 posts
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Minimag
What do you call someone who doesn't believe in Father Christmas?
A rebel without a Claus
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Dec 2020
1:37pm, 9 Dec 2020
First-time poster!!
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Mooky
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says “Ugh – that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”
The woman walks to the back of the bus and sits down.
She says to the man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on. I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
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Dec 2020
1:48pm, 9 Dec 2020
534 posts
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faithfulred
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Dec 2020
1:56pm, 9 Dec 2020
535 posts
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faithfulred
Why does everyone love yoga teachers?
'Cos they bend over backwards for you.
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Dec 2020
2:00pm, 9 Dec 2020
822 posts
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BlastItBob
Lance is a pretty uncommon name these days, but in medieval times, people were named lance a lot
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Dec 2020
2:16pm, 9 Dec 2020
2,006 posts
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Festive Flier
Wow  what brilliant pacing (())
I thought you'd like that when I looked at it when I got home Pure fluke!
Not at all, your a machine and run regularly enough to pace well especially with all the marathons you run.
That's the funniest thing I've heard in a while - can you put it on the joke thread?!
Just for you minardi
Minardi had registered a 6.5 mile run with 4 paced at 10.37 exactly, the first 2 miles were at 10.29 and 10.30.
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Dec 2020
2:25pm, 9 Dec 2020
240 posts
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SteveC amid the winters snow
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
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Dec 2020
2:29pm, 9 Dec 2020
34,210 posts
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Foxy
Sold my John Lennon collection on EBay
Imagine all the PayPal!
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Dec 2020
2:43pm, 9 Dec 2020
2,634 posts
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Minnie Mince Pie Mad
I have this incredible ability to predict what's inside a wrapped present.
It's a gift.
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